Escaping the Crazy
I’m quite far behind on posting about last Shabbat. But, the truth is, I don’t really have anything to say about it. It felt pretty natural actually, as opposed to something I needed to think about constantly. I was in New York seeing a bunch of friends, most of whom didn’t previously know I was doing this, and they were all interested and supportive of the idea in their varying ways.
I did, however, lead into this past Shabbat by making challah! It was my first time making it since I moved to DC, which really is too long, and it felt nice to get back into that type of baking and to have bread lying around all day Saturday :-)
As relatively comfortable as last Shabbat was, this coming one is going to be an interesting one. Because the situation with the crazy lady who lives in my apartment building got out of control this week, I’ve convinced the apartment’s management company to let me break my lease. They refused for quite a while, there were some significant — and embarrassing — tears, and finally they actually viewed the video of the exorcist-level stuff going down and decided I was justified in feeling uncomfortable. (Advice needed: how do I stop the physiological crying response? I like to think I’m really tough, but in confrontational situations I end up sobbing despite my best efforts. It’s horrible.)
Anyway, tomorrow is moving day!! I’ve hired movers for the first time in my life, so I actually won’t have to do massive amounts of labor. I think with everything going on though, I’m not going to be perfect about keeping my phone off though. We’ll see how it actually ends up going, but I think I’ll need it as a safety blanket. And as a way to force other people to commiserate with me. Because, let’s be honest, moving sucks.
This week has definitely been a trying one. I haven’t been sleeping as well because of all of the apartment stuff and my brain has been running a million miles a minute for days on end while I explore every possible option for getting out of my apartment, ending my lease, convincing the management company, considering legal action, finding a new apartment, getting all sorts of formalities done, and actually packing up my entire apartment. So, I’m wiped. I think I should take a little time tonight to rest — perhaps pull out the yoga mat and do just a little exercise and purposeful breathing — and then a little time tomorrow to actually appreciate how everything finally came together. (Assuming I actually survive the move.)
While it didn’t happen in relation to Shabbat, this week I’ve learned how crazy neighbors can be, but all how supportive my coworkers are. They’ve all listened to me whine and complain and tell crazy exorcism stories and agreed with me about needing to leave. And not a single coworker has told me to “just shut up already,” which they’d definitely be justified in doing. One coworker even let me occupy his office while I sobbed for an hour dealing with the management company over the phone. He just calmly did his work and passed me the box of tissues. My family has remained supportive even at times they were concerned I was making the wrong decisions. They lent advice, shared their concerns, but also let me make the decisions myself. Which, as anyone with a Jewish mother knows, is difficult and rare.
So, that’s that! I’m definitely acclimating more to Shabbat and seeing it as more of a natural thing in my life and being more successful in getting something out of it. Perhaps one day it’ll be so natural that I’ll stop blogging about it and tell you all sorts of other things about my life. There’s definitely a ways to go until I find the right fit for me, but at the moment, it’s enough.
