Reforming Shabbat: Take One

This blog comes to you for several different reasons but with one goal: chronicle my attempts at observing Shabbat according to my newly-made-up Reform Judaism traditions.

There are a few explanations for this. The best sounding one, the one I would like you all to ascribe to me, is a desire to get in touch with my Jewishness. I didn’t grow up regularly celebrating Shabbat, but I did go to Hebrew school and I was bat mitzvahed and I (loosely) celebrate the high holidays. Over New Year’s this year, I went on my Birthright trip, cutting it a little close since I went six months before my 27th birthday. Some parts of the trip were amazing; other parts were crappy; still others gave me a new, interesting perspective that I continue to reflect on.

One experience that has stuck with me was experiencing Shabbat with both secular and orthodox Israelis and some of the discussions that we had as a group throughout the day. And, if nothing else, a logical step following going to Israel is to step up my Jew-game; that’s what Birthright is for, right? (Aside from making more Jewish babies, of course, and I definitely failed at this.)

A less impressive source of this idea is another Medium story I read recently that included a 24 hour fast from technology among its list of ways people live happier/healthier/more successful lives. Since I always have my phone in view, if not physically touching my person at all times, setting it aside for a bit sounded like a nice challenge. Plus, some of the principles inherent in putting your phone away align well with the principles of Shabbat, and the 24-hour rule is pretty darn close to the 25 hours of Shabbat.

Third, I love my weekends away from people. I love taking time to clean my apartment, unwind, run errands, and go to sleep early. If I start observing Shabbat, I won’t have to talk to people as much. Sure, I can plan things ahead of time that I actually want to do, but I won’t have to lie in response to a 10pm text from a friend cajoling me, “OMG V. We’re meeting everyone out at XYZ bar and it’ll be much fun, you should come!” We all know I’m already in bed. Why are we pretending?

So, whatever the reason you would like to believe is the primary driver, I’m officially going to start observing Shabbat according to the following principles:

1. No unnecessary technology. I won’t be turning on my television, personal computer, work computer, tablet, or asking Alexa any questions. Time to pick up a book, go for a walk, learn a new hobby, or take a nap.
2. Appliances are okay. Since the idea is to rest, spend time with friends and family, experience the world around me, and re-focus myself, I’m not going to go as far as saying no “work” at all. I’ve deemed it acceptable to turn my light switches on and off, use the stove to cook myself a nice meal, and press an elevator button if I need.
3. Phone in “Do Not Disturb” mode. My phone will, in the end, stay on. I think it’s important to be accessible in case of emergency and I don’t have a landline. Also, I don’t live near my family right now, so I can’t walk down the block to spend time with them or meet them at shul for services. In “Do Not Disturb” mode, I can turn my ringer on and leave my phone across the room, ideally untouched. But if someone on my Favorites list calls, like my mother, it will ring. I might not be able to spend time with family face-to-face, but accepting their calls seems aligned with the ideals of Shabbat. And, it makes it less likely that my Jewish grandmother will call the cops if she doesn’t hear back from me for an entire day. But other than calls from family and close friends: No texting, no Instagram, no e-mails, no Facebook, and no swiping left or right.
4. Adaptations are inevitable, plan accordingly. I’m okay with flexibility here. If I’m driving to a ski weekend with friends, I need directions. I don’t have a map nor do I have any internal sense of direction. I’m pretty confident God doesn’t want me to die in the woods of Appalachia because I got lost trying to drive to Philadelphia. In this instance, it’s okay to use Google Maps. If I’m going away with friends and we need to be able to find each other on a crowded ski mountain, I can add them to my Favorites list for the day. If I want to go for a run, I’ll want music and my app tracker. When I’m at a conference for work, I’ll have to allow texts from my coworkers.

As you can hopefully tell, this is about the intent since I’m definitely going to fail at the implementation sometimes. The rules are loose, but I’m hoping they’ll allow me 25 hours each week to reset. A day without Facebook is okay. An evening out at the bar without embarrassing Snapchats to wake up to might even be better. The beach will still be just as beautiful and just as real even if I don’t Instagram my toes in the sand. Reruns of Law & Order: SVU will always be on, even if I read a book for a day instead. If I make plans to meet friends at the museum, we’ll have to pick a time and location actually meet at that time.

I will admit that, while I’m excited to give this a try, I already failed at attempt one. I stopped using my phone around 4:30pm this past Friday, but a bottle of Chardonnay may have lured me into texting and Snapchatting around midnight… But, as one of my favorite Israelis said in response to my failure, “Lucky for you, Shabbat comes once a week.”

Until next week…
Victoria