Member-only story
SELF-AWARENESS
Why I’m Finally Content Being a Homebody
Finding Peace in My Own Space
Sweet soy wax candles, lavender incense sticks, decorative lights, freshly laundered clothes that smell of my favourite fabric softener, a cosy, safe space and, most importantly, a home where there’s no ongoing tension or conflict.
It’s taken me 27 years to realise that the reason I’ve become a homebody as an adult is because, for the first time in my life, I actually enjoy being in the space where I eat, sleep and live. Where I have privacy and personal space, rather than being constantly under the microscope, being watched and pressured to conform to my parents’ needs or expectations.
Growing up in a household where I had limited autonomy and independence resulted in an overstimulated nervous system that did not allow me to enjoy time spent at home, whether alone in my room or with my siblings. As soon as I tried to relax, somebody would shout from downstairs, demanding my presence. I learnt to react quickly and adapt to their needs, with the result that I couldn’t relax until my head hit the pillow at night.
I was grateful for the privileges I had, but home was a place of discomfort. I felt inadequate in my room, which was impersonal and uninviting. The food and atmosphere didn’t appeal to me, and…