A Simple Request
Growing up I often went snow skiing. Living in Alaska, it’s pretty much on the agenda over the weekends in the winter. I loved the exhilaration of the ski lift swinging around and sweeping me off my feet. The excitement of the feat I was about to take as I was carried up the mountain and looked out at the trail I would take was always exciting and calming. As people slid off the chair and rounded the corner, there was always this stop and get situated moment. Small groups would talk about what direction they’d go, get their gloves and poles set, and they’d take off. Once I was ready, I’d start off slow and steady, eventually building up steam, but as I was going down, sometimes the speed would make me afraid so about midway through, or at a rough spot, I’d run off into a snowbank to get my bearings and, once things cleared out, start again. As skiers approach the bottom of the mountain, there is this straight away that gives a perfect view of the valley and that warm inviting ski lodge where, of course, I was about to order a hot chocolate with a mountain of whipped cream on top and sip it in front of a roaring fire. At that point, it would be my moment to take the slope at full speed — first, it wasn’t as steep as higher up, and second I could see the bottom, I knew when I’d have to start to slow things to come to my complete stop. I could see it all in plain view, and while it was visible, it still created some nerves, I got shaky, I knew I had to commit to every move in order to not break a leg or run someone over.
Looking at my life, I have seasons in my work and home life that rise and fall much like a full ride on a ski trail and right now, in this season I’m on the slope trailing down into the valley after the peak of the season has passed and I feel the end so close.
I sat down at my desk and just started staring off into space. Now what? I have things to do, that’s not the issue. I looked down and my eyes landed on a note I had written weeks ago on my calendar. It said
God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10.
The simplicity of the verse was appealing. The straightforwardness was refreshing. The emotion the Psalmist conveys in that heartfelt request resonated with me and found myself nodding along with the hurried scrawl on my paper.
You see, when I start the process of heading down that final hill after the frenzy there’s always this “now what?” thought that starts running through my head. Couple that with the little daily stressors and fears you have to beat away with a stick, along with the to-do list, and it feels almost like my priorities have gone askew. Even though this is a less challenging part of the trail, I still have loose ends, I still feel like I’ve overextended myself because I’ve said yes to things at the last minute, or I have responsibilities that can’t be missed, and time is coming rapidly to an end eventually and deadlines are called deadlines for a reason.
So I opened Webster’s Dictionary and looked up some words in this verse/prayer I had uttered in my mind. And here is what I’ve come up with:
God, bring into existence a heart for me that is free from dirt, marks, stains, and pollutants and is pure inside and out. And now that this interruption has passed, resume and reestablish a resolutely firm and unwavering seat of emotions and character within me.
As I read the definitions of each word I realize how deeply important this request is. While simple to read, the request is complex. To completely bring a whole new heart into existence free from the remnants of hurt, tragedy, selfishness, anger, jealousy, guilt, grief, and sin is quite the undertaking. The seasons we go through leave battle scars. Scars that really remind us who we were and what we have done. Replacing our hearts with something new allows us the freedom to live without looking back at the errors we’ve made and step forward into God’s calling and point people to Him with our words and actions.
When I read the definition of renew, it means reestablishing something after a brief interruption. Sometimes those interruptions are when we have to stop just before that last downhill slide, when we’ve sat at the top of the hill distracted by the social scene, when we just look in the wrong direction for a split second and need a way to get back on the trail, when we’ve turned away from God and his principles, when we’ve just done the bare minimum of going through the motions but the relationship isn’t there. Or maybe we’ve never begun our journey with Him and made Him Lord over our lives. These are interruptions. The redeeming part of the request is this, to renew doesn’t mean blast someone for why they let the membership lapse, it involves reestablishing the relationship. God has to help us re-establish relationship with Him. We can’t do any of this on our own. We need to put in the simple request for help. He must be involved to submit all the forms that we’ve filled out to get us reconnected with Him.
This relationship speaks to our spirit, the seat of emotions and character within us. I may have not had a super long interruption. Today it was looking at social media or messages before reading my scriptures and knowing I was distracted. But it can make my character or my emotions shaky if I don’t establish my connection with God first before managing the steep parts of my day. And as I look at the short run I have left on this trail in this season of my life, I need my relationship with Him to be solid, steadfast, resolutely firm and unwavering, so when opposition or the emotions that so easily crop up in any situation appear, I automatically respond with character and emotions that reflect the clean heart within me and its creator.
Are you worried about the next thing? Now what? Put in the simple request to God to create this new unblemished heart and renew your steadfast, resolutely firm, and unwavering seat of emotions and character. Just ask Him. His mercies are new every morning, and likewise, the simple request and the heart behind it must be renewed daily seeking His hand at creating something out of you that you can’t do on your own.
