INTIMIDATION
in·tim·i·date: frighten or overawe (someone), especially in order to make them do what one wants
Being intimidated seems to be a constant site where I battle myself on the regular. When I’m at peace and all seems right in my world, I look at this fact and ask, “Why?” It seems so pointless to let outsiders and circumstances influence how I feel. I then have to remind myself, I’m not unique. I’m human. We all experience moments of intimidation… even those who are so self-assured, maybe they arrived at that perspective because they faced intimidation at one point or another.
Sometimes intimidation is intentional. People see you doing something good, see you taking away a resource or a person they have been able to abuse and they get angry. The book of Nehemiah in the Bible is a story about an Israelite who worked for the king of the empire. He was granted the opportunity to go back to Jerusalem and rebuild the wall that had been destroyed. He knew his people were constantly under attack, abused, used, and ransacked. Their safety was non-existent. As I read the story I realized how this one act of making a city better, improving safety led to much anger outside of their community. The lack of security gave opportunities for other cities to have power over the people of Jerusalem.
Isn’t it the same way for us? When we don’t have boundaries, we are vulnerable to others’ control. They can take up all our time, energy, and resources. They can use us as an alternative target when the person or situation they are really upset with is impenetrable to their anger. They can step on us to get higher up in their world or feel better about themselves. They use tactics to invoke fear and overawe so we hide feeling scared or ashamed or just not good enough.
Nehemiah went home to Jerusalem to build a wall and he was berated by intimidation tactics. The governors of other provinces were seeing this city which they used to boost their own pride, use for their own gain, and saw as weak and non-threatening start to flourish, become bold, and build boundaries that were stronger than the pile of rubble that used to surround them.
When you start to build boundaries with people who try to control or abuse you, it’s painful for all involved. It creates anger because the status quo is changing for the abuser. It creates efforts in the abused to build up protection for themselves. All of this is out of character and is really hard to experience. When we grow it’s painful (eh hem… growing pains) but it’s necessary to become the whole person we are intended to be. If we allow others to use intimidation to stunt our growth it’s just as painful. So why don’t we just lean forward into the pain that brings positive results rather than sit in the pain we’ve always known?
I think identity has a lot to do with this. Who we are matters. If we don’t know who we are and whose we are, then its harder to be bold in the face of intimidators. Nehemiah knew this but it doesn’t mean it was always easy. In Nehemiah 6:9 he acknowledges that “They were all trying to intimidate us…” The other governors were spreading rumors and creating a false narrative that was meant to make them stop doing the good work they needed to do. Here I’d like to also say that the enemy used those people to try and stop God’s ultimate plan of restoring a nation. Nehemiah turned to the only source of help, vs.9: “But now, my God, strengthen my hands.” This small prayer didn’t make the intimidation tactics stop, they continued. But this reminder in scripture shows us that regardless of how confident you are in a calling, you still can’t be self-reliant. Constantly turning to God makes it possible to have strength and endurance through the struggle.
The wall was completed in 52 days. That was record time and encouraged and strengthened the people it was meant to protect. Building a boundary takes time. 52 days may be fast for a wall to be built, but it can seem like forever when we are in the middle of it. Pressing on and leaning into the good work allows us to come out on the other side proud of the growing pains and eventually seeing and appreciating the layer of protection we’ve created with God alongside us.
Having God in your life doesn’t mean you won’t have people or things that intimidate you. It means you have someone there to help you rise above it and not let it keep you from achieving the calling you’ve been given.
I won’t say don’t be intimidated. That’s impossible. However, we can have an automatic response to the intimidation, looking heavenward reaching out our hands and saying, “God strengthen me.”
