Weathered
I listened as my mother shared about a week that was less than ideal. Conflict, argument, condescension, subtext, it was all just dramatic and I was overwhelmed for her. What I found profound was that she used the drama to try to figure out something that might be her fault in the situation. In a world where fingers are pointed and anger is directed with a flick of a keystroke, without concern of consequence, she actually was wondering, “Am I the problem here? Should I step away from this situation?” While this would normally be refreshing, I thought to myself about the twisted subtext we get from the serpent in Genesis, “surely you will not die” he says to Eve, twisting the scenario a quarter turn to get her mind thinking, “maybe I’m not approaching this right, maybe I misheard God, maybe there’s more beyond just this little paradise, maybe there’s a better way than God’s way.”
Sometimes when we are doing good things, attending church, sharing insight and whisperings from the Holy Spirit, loving on others in Christ’s name, Satan takes that moment to start to change the environment. We encounter combative people, we are discouraged to plan an event because the day has too many community conflicts, we get asked to pander when addressing a topic, we feel burdened and heavy and the weight is easier dumped to the side than carried through what was supposed to be God’s work and our call to action for His glory.
Mom shared with me a beautiful letter she wrote to a Bible Study leader many years ago. She wrote:
“I was… looking out the window at the big birch tree beside the church. All the leaves had long since fallen. That’s why my attention was aroused when I noticed one little leaf still hanging on the tree. It was battered and torn by the wind, but it showed no sign of letting go. I told the Lord, ‘you know, the way that little leaf looks is exactly how I feel. Battered and blown by the winds of adversity but still hanging on to you.’”
Honestly I know the feeling. Lately I am easily distracted by the environmental changes around me. The call becomes blurred, the intent becomes unclear, the purpose becomes worthless, the circumstances become regrettable. The environment change causes me to fall into that mindset that Eve may have had, ‘What else is out there after I eat or don’t eat this fruit? Could I be misunderstanding God completely in this moment with this one instruction?’
But Scripture shows me how this little leaf is definitely who I am trying to be. Hanging on to something that isn’t fitting for my season of life, being someone that I’m not. Psalm 1:3 speaks about the righteous man who walks differently from the wicked and delights in the law of the Lord. It says, “He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.” It is a reminder that life is seasonal and each season requires different fruit or vegetation to be yielded. And as I read this verse, I’ve come to realize I’m not the leaf at all, I’m the tree.
Dr. Deanna Conners writes in a blog for earthsky.com that the leaves of deciduous trees are damaged by harsh, cold temperatures. She goes on to share that shedding leaves allows a tree to conserve both water and energy and the tree itself actively cuts off its own leaves in preparation for the winter through a process called abscission (sharing the same latin root word that is used in the word scissors). During this process of removing its leaves, a tree will break down and absorb the chlorophyll from the leaves. Chlorophyll is what provides the vibrant green color to the leaves and is a valuable source of nutrients. Once the leaves are cut off, cells create a protective covering where the cutting has occurred. Once Spring arrives, the benefit of bare branches is to aid in the pollination process. Without leaves in the way, the pollen from the trees can travel much faster and cover a further distance allowing the seed to reach more trees in the process.
While the leaf is being battered and beaten by the elements, it is missing out on the point of its purpose. We must embrace our season and see that cutting off all the old allows time for healing, conserving energy, filling with living water and, in our barest, most vulnerable moments, we reach more people with the seed of our lives. While the fruit we bear is important, it is still seasonal, yielded for specific time and purpose. We gain from that yield and move forward. To look back or cling to a past season in our lives prevents us from being energized from that yield and could open us up to attack from the elements of our environment. If the little leaf never detaches, the cells cannot protect the branch of the tree opening it up to harm.
I need to let go of past seasons. I need to look onward to the next season. While it may become winter, that doesn’t mean it is a miserable moment in life. Look at the tree, Winter is a time for rest, growth, rejuvenation and reaching many from a great distance without all those leaves to get in the way.
Letting my environment be the catalyst for despair is the opposite of how God intended life to be. The environment change we experience, while it can be jarring, can allow us to find the way to adjust and adapt and move into the new season God is preparing for us. Does that mean we have to step back from things? Yes, possibly. Does that mean new things will be added? Yes, possibly. We must not allow the serpents whispers and ultimately our doubt of God’s calling and provision to creep in. It is best to be like the blessed man in Psalms, delighting in the Law of the Lord and meditating on it day and night.
