DON’T LISTEN TO REPLY, LISTEN TO UNDERSTAND
How many times have you heard people saying that you should ask questions to the person who is speaking or perhaps you should keep on smiling and avoid interruptions……..and the list goes on right?
But what does actually happen?
What actually happens is we are usually lost in our own thoughts and are always thinking:
WHAT AM I GOING TO SAY NEXT?
WHAT IS HE/SHE THINKING ABOUT ME?
OR even WORSE, you are thinking about some other moment/thing/time/conversation.
So here’s what I think about the current state of listening:
PEOPLE ACT THAT THEY LISTEN BUT THEY ACTUALLY DON’T
Many a times I have seen people (including me), who are just following some tips that they read on the internet so that the OTHER PERSON PERCEIVES them to be a good listener.
The reality however is that you are not deeply interested in the conversation and just want to SHOW OTHER PEOPLE that you are a good listener.
This deviates from the very essence of listening.
DON’T DO IT IF YOU DON’T MEAN IT
So now you may ask, if not all this, then what is the KEY TO BETTER LISTENING?
I would say without hesitating, EMPATHY
“Listening is the missing half of communication, absolutely necessary but often overlooked” — William Ury
Empathy means placing yourself in other person’s shoes and tuning yourself into the same wavelength as the speaker.
Always observe the emotions that the person is going through while speaking, in other words, understand the HUMAN BEING in the person.
Do not JUDGE the person right away, and DO NOT be in an urgency to reply.
This, I think, is the single biggest switch that the people should make to be a better listener
BUT Wait a minute! It is really difficult to pay attention to the other person!
Well yes, I do agree and for that I have one little solution:
Before entering into any conversation, take time to silence yourself, calm down your own emotions and clear all the unnecessary thoughts going through your mind.
Think about it guys, we humans wouldn’t have existed if we wouldn’t have listened to each other and when God has given us two ears and one mouth, then why should we speak so much and listen so less?
I hope by consolidating all the things out there on “How to be a better listener”, I would be able to help you guys so that you know the single thing to pay attention to is having EMPATHY.
Cheers Guys!!
