HOW I WENT FROM BEING SHORT TEMPERED TO BEING EXTREMELY CALM

Anger will not take you anywhere

What’s up, Re-inventors!

Have you ever come across a person who just makes you temper go through the roof?

Are you tired of yourself reacting to rude/mean comments of other people and you often get angry?

Then guys, give me 5 minutes and you’ll have the solution to your problem.

You might have often heard/read that whenever you feel angry you should just take few deep breaths and it will all be fine.

BUT we often realize that it is not the case. (This comes from a guy who was extremely short-tempered, yep that’s me!)

When you are angry all you think about is ‘how that person has made you feel’ or ‘how wrong he/she was’ or ‘it was not at all your fault’.

The truth is, it does not matter whether it was your fault because it has already spoiled your mood.

So, what is the permanent solution to this problem?

Here it is:

MAKE AN ANGER JOURNAL

This might feel a redundant advice but it worked for me.

The main aim of a journal, here, is to record your feelings during that particular situation.

Here are some key points that you should consider while writing in that journal (that I did too):

· How were you feeling before that incident happened

· What did the other person say/do that triggered your anger

· How did you react to that situation? Do you think it was right?

· What were the consequences?

· How did you feel one hour after that particular event had happened?

This particular activity is quite easy and would take no more than five minutes.

SELF-AWARENESS is key. If you don’t know where you are, you will not know what you have to do to move forward

PUT A PLAN IN PLACE:

Now that you know what are the reasons you often get angry are, you can plan to avoid such situations.

Think in advance the things that you will do next time you face such a situation and make it a point to implement the plan.

Let’s say you know that there is a person in your office who always comments on your work and makes it a point to find flaws in your presentations. Now instead of being angry you can decide in advance that next time he does this you will politely tell him not to criticize your work to let you down. If he still does not stop you can just walk away from the situation to avoid any argument.

BRING EMPATHY INTO THE EQUATION:

Why is it necessary to be empathetic?

This is because anger and empathy cannot co-exist.

If you have empathy, you cannot be angry and if you are angry, you cannot be empathetic.

Simply put, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of each other and to put yourself in other person’s shoes.

This little tweak can help you understand why the person said/did that thing which made you angry.

Let’s say that your boss talked rudely to you for not completing a task quickly or not meeting the targets, in a way that made you super angry. Now, instead of reacting and cursing him, IF YOU ARE EMPATHETIC, you may come to know that the boss has been pressurized by the higher authorities to complete the task or it was possible that early in the morning he had an argument at home which made him behave like that.

Always realize, that by being the bigger person you always benefit in the long run.

IF EVERYTHING FAILS:

I would absolutely agree that the process of changing this habit is difficult.

There are situations where I too sometimes lose control.

This is perfectly OKAY. Changing this habit will not hit you like a lightning bolt, you have to persevere.

BUT, remember! If everything fails, the best way is to just walk away from the situation and do something you love. It can be a walk, music or an intense exercise.

I guarantee that if you follow these steps diligently you will surely change yourself for the better.

It does take tons of will power but if I can do it, so can you!

This was my experience of how I curbed my anger. Would absolutely love to listen and learn new ways from you guys. After all, we all are here to help each other.

Feel free to interact!

Cheers !!