INTROVERSION != SHYNESS

Reinvent Yourself
Jul 21, 2017 · 5 min read

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic. Maybe even for more than 2 years now.

Growing up, I was not the smartest kid and definitely not the fittest(rather the fattest)

Till 8th grade I was an average student with average grades. I was not at all bothered though. I used to play a lot and enjoy all the sweets and chocolates without thinking about anything.

When I was old enough I started thinking about things. Maybe on my 14th birthday I just woke up and told myself “Bro, you need to get your shit together”.

Then started my journey of improving myself physically (from 80kg at 5'5 to 73 kg at 5'10) and academically (not because I wanted the best grades, but because I was so competitive that I wanted to win)

From then to now, the journey has been awesome. I have improved a lot in different areas of my life.

But there is one thing that has always been at the back of my mind. And that is my natural tendency to not be so sparked by social interactions and instead spending more time with myself.

Now, wait a minute. I’m human and I AM a quote unquote social animal, too. I am not a person who hates people or does not want to talk to them. I just don’t like to talk about anything random which does not make sense

I know who I am, very well. From 14 to 17 I think that the society has done an awesome job in telling me a few things:

1. “You are shy and an introvert”

2. “You don’t talk much”

3. “You have to be extroverted and more outgoing to succeed in various areas”

Let’s break these things one by one:

1. “You’re shy AND an introvert”:

Get the difference between shyness and introversion right guys.

Shyness means being nervous or timid in the company of other people.

Introversion means the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one’s own mental life

Where the hell does the definition of introversion says that introverts do not like meeting new people? Yes we are predominantly concerned with our own mental life because that’s what matters more. I would not have accomplished anything if I was not the “introverted” person that I am. If I don’t prioritise my mental life (or health), how will I be able to come up with new ideas or how will I be able to listen to myself and my intuition?

Moreover, the idea of writing this post (like most of the other posts) has come only at times when I was alone and doing my thing.

I like public speaking and writing (yes I do not fear people). I play Tabla and I like performing on stage. I love talking to people with the same interests as me. But I do not randomly small talk with people to pass time.

I would rather go read a book (or do what I love, like writing this post) and give my mind something, that it is interested in, rather than talking to someone about how the weather is or how annoying the college lecture was.

That’s how I see it. Right now I am sitting in the metro which is full of people, writing this article

I am not talking about random things with the person sitting beside me, but if I get an opportunity to talk to someone with aligned interests, I would enthusiastically talk to them.

I do not fear people primarily, I just choose wisely the people I talk to and what I talk about with them.

2. “You don’t talk much”:

Yes that is true to some extent. Introverts do not have the natural tendency to talk much. They may talk a lot if they wanted to, but it does not come naturally to them.

The main reason behind this is that introverts are known to have more deeper relationships and they take social interactions slowly because they can survive very well without much social interactions (unlike extroverts). They do not do small talk much because, for them it is not the best use of time and energy.

With me personally, if I don’t feel someone is interested in the conversation, I don’t like talking to them and I might as well do something more productive.

3. “You have to be extroverted to succeed”:

You don’t have to be extroverted to succeed, at least in my opinion. I think introverts are more comfortable with themselves (as they do not crave social interactions as much as extroverts) and thus they are able to introspect, come up with better ideas and make better decisions.

Unlike extroverts who speak a lot, introverts speak after they think and speak the right things most of the times because they have given at least one thought to it. Also, introverts have found to have more focus and are usually difficult to distract from their tasks at hand.

Although they might not fit into the picture of the “Perfect” leader that many of us have and may hate things like small talk, they are really good at working with a small group of people and get things done.


I hope this breaks some of the stereotypes around this concept of introversion and shyness

If you liked this article, recommend it so that other people can see it too! ❤

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Re-Invent Yourself

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Reinvent Yourself

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We help you grow, because we let you know

Re-Invent Yourself

We help you grow because we let you know

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