After Rain Skies — Book Review

This is a book I could not put away once I started reading it. Michelle Ayon Navajas collaborates with a social cause, and highlights unspoken pains of women with deftness in verbal expression.

Almost every pain has been discussed — victim-blaming, incest, marital rape, infidelity, being used as currency in bets, physical, mental and emotional abuse.

One of her characters realizes she is not to be blamed, only after joining a group of abuse victims. The stories are all of real women, who braved the torture and live to talk about it.

Here are some glimpses into the pages of the book “After Rain Skies”. I felt like a voyeur peeping into the secret chambers of a woman’s mind or her handbag.

And so, with all her remaining strength she bravely said, “No, there is no way that will happen.” She added, “I don’t care if you will rape me over a million times, I don’t care if you will even keep me your hostage, but I will never let you see me surrender myself to you. There is no way I will agree to marry you”.

Her “no” meant a lifetime of freedom. Her “no” meant a lifetime of self-worth

you lost your voice in the roaring thunder of his growing ego as you lost your consciousness under his vicious hands.

You see, you can’t escape a storm inside your mind. Out there, in the real world, you can get in a car and drive as fast as you can, and get as far away from it as you can, before the first thunderclap even hits. But in your head? The ghosts that haunt you there? You can’t touch it. No matter how much you hurt, there’s nowhere to go.

It’s slowly disappearing-a world where girls can only be wives if they are less than what their husbands are. It’s slowly disappearing but it’s mostly still here

The thing about not giving back the pain you received, though, was, if you didn’t have a place to put it, you just carried it around with you. When men get married, they call it settling down. Like something soft, something restful. You did not settle down when you married. You got married, and you stepped up.

She kept her silence for so long. And yes, for some reason and probably by the grace of God, her silence helped her forget and eventually move on. Now, years later, she chose to speak up. And, why now? Because she has found her peace now, and in her peace, she can better narrate her story and empower young women.

Michelle Ayon Navajas answered a few questions in a chat, and her answers are eye-openers. Abuse is not restricted to any one geography. Most of us in Asia sees Western women as liberated, but there are many who would have different stories to tell.

Question

I’ve been reading your work for some time, and the easy flow of appropriate words to describe complex situations amazes me. It suddenly makes an unspeakable act easy to comprehend and accept. It makes the way forward easier. Where does it all come from? Is it from a culture, or happenings around you, or interactions with brave women?

Michelle’s answer:

I use the “first person” point of view in most of my poetry and prose, because this style of narrative brings about closeness in the reader-writer-character relationship especially when talking about the contemporary women who are challenging the regressive social norms and overcoming all obstacles to achieve their dreams. The use of simple language also aids for better understanding and grasp of ideas even for readers who are not poetry or literary enthusiasts.

We have achieved so much for which we should be both grateful and proud, but there remains a lot to be achieved. I think the spirit of feminism as I understand is very simple. More than focusing on the term, I would like to stress that every woman deserves a life of dignity and the ability to make her own choices. Over and over again I always emphasize on women’s education, their financial independence, the need to give them career-oriented training, and women coming forward to help other women grow. I am also against women who feel threatened by other women’s courage to break out of their traditional roles.

Apart from organizational resistance by women, education, job training, and financial independence, there is also a need for the change of attitude of general people, especially where women are not treated as equals. This (change of attitude) is a larger and more complicated problem, which is to change the mindset that a strong woman is negative. A strong woman who is earning and taking up space in the outside world is a great asset to her family and community. A strong woman is not just a woman who makes use of life’s opportunities but also manages to stand strong when things fall apart.

Question

How difficult was the writing process? What were the emotions you had to fight, and controls you had to exercise?

Michelle’s answer

“After Rain Skies (second edition)” is a compilation of true and inspiring stories of abuse and violence in prose and poetry. This edition will open our minds and hearts to the heartbreaking realities of the culture of sexual abuse, happening to women all over the world. This may even surprise you, as I ventured out into exposing stories of perpetrators who are kind, smart and successful -not your usual “bad kind of guy”. Which leads me to say, not all who is good and kind is righteous and compassionate. Sometimes, evil just lurk around waiting for the time to be unleashed. Sometime too, the face of an evil is “beautiful”, not your usual “evil kind of guy — with burning red eyes face”. So, girls watch out. Evil could be just around, sitting right next to you camouflaging as your best friend, your uncle, your classmate, your neighbor or worst your supposed “beloved”. The stories in this edition will help girls and women to spot possible perpetrators and to see the possible “red flags” at any given situation.

Sexual abuse was the only form of violence I refused to include in the first book. Why? Listening to my subjects telling their stories was heartbreaking. It broke me, honestly. I couldn’t find the courage to write it then, because writing it and retelling their stories would mean going through the broken feeling again. So, I chose not to write. I chose not to include it. I wasn’t prepared.

Two years after, I realized, things didn’t change at all. Statistics of sexual abuse victims skyrocketed over a span of two years. So I decided to open the heartache and write the stories this time. One story alone took me hours to process and to dry my tears, but I believe it is worth my pain and my tears. It has to be told. It has to be out. I have to write and provide the much needed voice for these victims.

This book is one of the best things that ever happened to me as a woman and as a writer. This is my “dream come true”. I do something that I am very passionate about which is telling stories through my poetry and at the same time creating awareness and providing voice to all the victims of abuse and violence.

Violence of any form is unacceptable and should never be tolerated.

Question

A patriarchal system which objectifies a woman, and expects her to fit silently into preconstructed molds is the subject of your book. The victim of incest who is blamed for dressing sexy by her mother is an example. What do you have to say about the culture that builds this mind set?

Michelle’s answer

There is nothing wrong with preserving customs and beliefs, as well as traditions. However, it is necessary and mandatory to double check if such traditions and beliefs are still applicable to our current situation. Cases of young girls being sexually assaulted by their fathers, brothers and relatives and having to take all the blame for dressing up sexy or for being seductive, angers me a lot. And for some mothers to even put the blame on the girls is really unacceptable. We should teach the men in our family to respect the ladies/women/girls in the family regardless of how they wear, what they wear and their behavior, and if necessary, teach these girls to dress appropriately. But then again, the word or phrase “appropriate dressing” could mean a lot things to a lot of people and culture, so it boils down to the fact that we should exercise great amount of respect to the women in our family.

Question

Do you think women who have been through this can trust again? It’s not about a man, but a whole social system that works against her.

Michelle’s answer

I believe that with the right amount of love and understanding from people around these victims, they would be able to trust again. Trust, not necessarily on men, but trust on “life”, the fact that there is still good even in the worst of situations, which the good will still prevail over evil. It is not easy but it is not impossible too. That’s why it is important that we as members of the community and society be able to understand fully the situation and process as well as the ordeal these women went through. For one, we should stop the culture of “victim shaming”. Regardless of and no matter what, abuse is still abuse; rape is still rape when consent is not given. We often hear people shaming the victims for being so vulnerable and weak; some even blame the victims for not running away or walking away at the first sign of abuse; but who are we to even judge them or blame them? We were not in their position. We never experienced what they went through. And, yes you’ll never know how it feels unless you are in the same exact situation, or maybe if you are, the way you respond to abuse and violence is not exactly the same as others do. So again, anyone’s critical judgment is not rather welcome in situations like this.

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Originally published at http://sacredcircleforwomen.wordpress.com on March 15, 2022.