To feel or not to feel?
One of my very first jobs out of high school was working in retail, and I vaguely remember being told by my then-manager to “leave my emotions at the door” when stepping into the workplace.
I left a month after.
Looking back, especially knowing what I know now, the idea that “emotions are not allowed in the work place” is so…archaic? Professionalism does not translate to a suppression of emotions. Furthermore, it invalidates the fact that we, as human beings, are naturally emotional creatures- we have emotions! They. Are. Normal! I have worked in a service-type of industry where I am interfacing with who would be traditionally referred to as “customers” for my entire working life, and emotions are those pesky little things that actually guide my decision-making. I remember being in graduate school and learning more about the construct of emotional labor, and realized how much I have had to do just that because the jobs I have held, and continue to hold, continually appraise me for my “capacity to manage and produce a feeling.”
Practicing Organization Development, being a Life, Leadership and Transition Coach, and finding myself in spaces related to change, it is so clear, both in data and in practice, how emotions are at the core of how people navigate what they end up doing next. For instance, I used to carry this mindset that if the company pushes change from the top down to the line workers, that change should just be adopted. I was SO wrong. We are creatures of habit- any disturbances to our comfort zone creates discomfort within our internal landscapes, so I have found it very beneficial in my practice to intentionally carve out time, a brave space and interaction safety (read: psychological safety), so people are more inclined to share their whole selves further into the engagement. It has been a powerful and transformative practice for me because, quite frankly, we are able to cut through the noise and the BS and get to the matter at hand faster, which enables the partnership, project and process to continue moving.
So what was the point of all of this?
Normalize emotions: There is no manual that states that you are not allowed to have emotions in the workplace. We all have them. Sometimes, emotions are there to remind us that it is totally okay and feels good to be heard.
Take your time: Emotions can be volatile, hard to pinpoint and difficult to name. By taking your time to understand what is underneath a specific emotion, its triggers and whatnot, it becomes easier to identify and consciously decide how you want to react in the future.
Categorize them: Will the emotions you currently have help, hinder or hurt you at work? Taking the time to process this will help determine your course of action and how you want to proceed (or not).
