The Pathology of Accommodation

When being nice becomes toxic.

Stacey Herrera
Dec 11, 2019 · 5 min read
Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

“I’m a giver.”

“Pathological accommodation: Taking care of other’s needs at the expense of your own, feeling their feelings in denial of your own, and pretty much erasing yourself in order to preserve a relationship with someone you believe is important to you.” — Neil Strauss

I was a pathological accommodator in one of my longest relationships.

Two years and three margaritas later, we had sex.

And he received. And received. And received.

Hindsight is 20/20.

If you relate to any part of my story, you too might be a pathological accommodator. But if you’re unsure, here are 7 signs that you might be a doormat:

Boundaries are the antidote to pathological accommodation.

Here are some of the many benefits of having boundaries…


it’s a verb

Stacey Herrera

Written by

Library Fine Payer | Relationship-ing Practitioner | Jalapeño Lover | Intimacy + REALationship Coach | Get updates💋


it’s a verb

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