Who Initiates Sex: And why it matters so much

Summary:

Regularly initiating sexual activity is not just about physical pleasure but is also essential for emotional intimacy and building a stronger connection between partners. Let’s look at the dangers of one-sided sexual effort in a relationship.

Who is this article for:

This article is a must-read for you if

• you feel like you’re the only one initiating romance or sex in your relationship
• you are being accused of not making an equal effort to initiate

Introduction:

A healthy and satisfying romantic relationship needs a healthy sexual connection. When both partners equally work to initiate sexual activity, it creates respect, passion, and excitement. This energy triggers a mutual desire and value, which brings balance and satisfaction to the relationship, empowering both partners and promoting their physical and emotional well-being. These benefits are not limited to the relationship and can also positively affect their work, family, and social life.

On the other hand, if one partner consistently refuses to initiate sexual or romantic interactions, it can have catastrophic effects on the relationship and eventually destroy it. This lack of effort can also harm their partner’s well-being. Victims of such an inequitable relationship could suffer from emotional scars that can last long after the relationship has ended. In some cases, they may even require long-term therapy. It can make it impossible for them to form healthy relationships in the future.

As a professional relationship counselor, I have seen many couples struggling with imbalanced relationships. If you find yourself in this situation, it is crucial to acknowledge the problem and determine if you are causing it or being affected by it. Ignoring this issue can result in a broken home and heartbreak.

The Essential Elements:

Let’s examine the essential elements of a relationship where both partners maintain a balance in initiating sexual and romantic interactions.

Need to be Needed:

Feeling desired and valued in a relationship is a fundamental human need. It’s important for self-esteem and respect. Both partners must initiate romantic interaction at least 50% of the time for a balanced and fulfilling sexual relationship. It’s not optional but a necessity

Balance and Equity:

When only one partner initiates sex most of the time, it creates an unhealthy power dynamic where the other partner holds power to accept or reject their advances. This toxic imbalance of power is equivalent to physical and emotional abuse.

Sharing Responsibility:

The relationship becomes more balanced and resilient when both partners take a similar level of initiative. If one partner steps back for any reason, the other can continue to move the relationship forward. This tag team effort creates a more harmonious and robust relationship.

Keeping the Spark Alive:

When both partners actively initiate, seduce, and romance each other, the chances of keeping the relationship interesting increase significantly. The resulting chemistry makes the relationship more exciting, bringing variety and novelty.

Communication — Discovering Desires and Needs:

Initiating sexual interaction can help open up frank and unabashed communication between partners. This contact creates a safe space where both partners can share their desires, fantasies, kinks, and preferences without fear of judgment or rejection.

Improving Confidence and Self-Esteem:

Initiating sexual interaction can have a positive impact on one’s confidence and self-esteem. Feeling wanted and desired by your partner can boost your self-esteem and make you feel more attractive and confident.

Building Trust:

Initiating sexual interaction involves expressing desires, needs, and preferences, which can be sensitive and personal topics. This openness requires vulnerability and honesty that helps build mutual trust between partners.

Conclusion:

In a healthy relationship, both partners should actively initiate sexual or romantic interactions. If there’s an imbalance where one partner consistently puts in less effort, it could be a warning sign of trouble. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s essential to address the issue promptly. The longer you wait to do so, the more damage it can cause, which will require more effort to repair later on.

Remember, for a successful relationship, both partners must desire each other equally and aim for balance and fairness.