Look Out For These Red Flags in Your Relationship.
Signs that your relationship is “toxic”?
Last week I bumped into an old friend and we sat down for coffee. She seemed different.
Not as happy as the old days.
I could sense she was going through something.
So I asked her if something was bothering her?
Back in the days, her boyfriend and she were the ultimate highschool sweethearts — five years later, they’re struggling to “stick” together.
I was super baffled, and asked what exactly happened?
She started ranting about how his attitude changed, and I could literally point out all the possible red flags that she was blind towards.
I suppose you’re here because you’re dating someone too or about to date someone, if yes, look out for these red flags before its too late.
They say relationships are akin to hard work.
Fights are common.
And few bumps in the road are normal.
Fair as it may be, but in one’s professional and emotional life, these clichés may distract from rational reasons of concern, including the indications that a relationship might have become or always been “toxic”.
1. Violence, bullying, abuse, or intimidation
The signs of a toxic relationship are far vaguer in certain situations. Violence and mental/physical abuse for me has to be the last straw to pull from your relationship. No matter how badly you want to be with this partner.
If one person is brimming with envy, then that’s not okay. In all regards, partners aren’t equal, but that should be a source of power and support, rather destructive rage.
2. Persistent unhappiness.
Commitment takes a lot of effort. No partnership is perfect.
These are some signs that you’re unhappy in your relationship.
There’s no fight left.
You prioritize your family/friends over your partner.
Date night ceases to exist.
You’re drowning in criticism.
There’s no gratitude.
You have nothing nice to say about your relationship.
You feel so alone.
There’s contempt between you and your partner.
You’re living parallel lives.
You’re holding grudges.
Someone’s playing the blame game.
You’re picking fights.
The major signs that you’re unhappy in a relationship are: You’re daydreaming about being single. AND
There’s a lack of respect.
If a relationship stops bringing pleasure, and instead continually leaves you feeling sad, frustrated, or nervous, it could be toxic. You may find yourself jealous of other happy couples as well.
3. All take, no give.
Any relationship where you encounter energy drains without deposits will leave you in a negative and toxic environment.
4. A lack of faith leads you nowhere.
When a person strives to be honest with themselves, it gets hard for them to be honest with you. A relationship without faith is like a gas-free car: you can sit in it, but it’s not taking you anywhere.
Being out-and-out lied to is a no-brainer.
Someone who can’t hold themselves accountable for their actions lacks respect for their partner and lacks integrity.
5. Hostile and disrespectful environments.
A sure sign of a toxic relationship is excessive anger and arrogance.
Feeling like you can’t speak to your partner or share thoughts indicates that something’s wrong.
6. Constant criticism and judgment are toxic.
The interest of one person in the relationship is only a representation of themselves, any sort of harmony is difficult to achieve.
7. Lack of communication
Insufficient support in good and bad times make you feel unworthy. Everybody needs validation and a pat on the back.
8. Being excessively controlling and dominating
If a partner starts being excessively controlling and dominating and you feel entrapped, find yourself constantly changing your opinions to please others and diminish your self-esteem then that’s a MAJOR red flag.
Final Thoughts
I love this quote:
“Love cures people — both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.”
— Karl Menninger
Love alone can rekindle life and if this is not the case with you maybe you’re with the wrong person. Because the right person will never make you feel unsettled or worthless.
The right person will make you fall in love with yourself. Read that again.
It is valuable to have relationships, but a toxic relationship will cost you a lot in time and energy and ruin your mental health.
Stay true to yourself and your beliefs, listen to your heart, and if you need to get out of a toxic relationship — be quick and brave.
