Flooding: The State that Ruins Relationships

After the Coronavirus, this mind state is the 2nd most dangerous thing for your relationship.

Assael Romanelli, Ph.D.
Relationship Stories

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We’ve all been there. One moment you are fine, but then someone or something triggers you. You “lose your mind” and can’t control yourself. You are “flooded”. You find yourself yelling at your partner, giving disproportionate punishment to your kids, slamming doors, threatening to quit your job, and spiralling downwards.

Several minutes or hours later, you calm down and realize, with regret, the damage that you have done.

During the coronavirus epidemic lockdown, anxiety, uncertainty, and conflicts are especially increased in relationships. These conditions make emotional “flooding” more common and harder to control than in other, more normal times.

The good news is that you can help minimize such flooding. The first step to minimizing flooding is to understand how our brain is hardwired.

A (very) brief overview of our brain

We actually have three brains that usually work in perfect synchronization.

  • The lower brain/brain stem. The part of our brain that is responsible for survival- controlling our heartbeat, breathing, and other autonomic…

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Assael Romanelli, Ph.D.
Relationship Stories

Couple and family therapist. International trainer and speaker. Improviser and multi-potentialite. www.potentialstate.com