Transformative Relationships

Even before we enter the world, our brains and hormones are wired for connection. Our first relationship begins in our mother’s womb, where we recognize her voice and respond to her moods through hormones and stress responses. Later, her smell and touch become familiar. Babies’ brains and bodies don’t fully develop without affection and responsive communication.

Our template for love and relationships is often determined in childhood. Early interactions with our parents shape our self-image, attachment style, and patterns, which we repeat in adult relationships — romantic and otherwise.

A secure attachment in an intimate relationship can empower, enliven, and uplift us. It celebrates our successes and comforts us in defeat and sorrow. However, despite the potential benefits many of us have had painful romantic relationships, and some have never truly known a safe one.

Without consistent, unconditional love from both parents, we may confuse love with pain and longing, leading to feelings of being smothered, controlled, or rejected.

Love can be fickle. Even when we know better, we can be drawn to someone who causes pain. We cannot make someone return our love or make ourselves love the person who might be the best choice! Yet, we do have an option to walk away, as painful as that might be. Often the most difficult…