Why Can’t I Get Over My Ex?
Rejection and breaking-up are especially hard for codependents — even when the relationship was abusive! It can take longer to get over a breakup, sometimes years, for even a short relationship. Codependents have difficulty letting go. Breakups affect our self-esteem more than it does for people who are secure and confident. This is because breakups trigger hidden grief and cause irrational guilt, anger, shame, and fear.
Many of the issues listed below are true for codependents. Working through them can help you let go and move on.
– If you blame yourself or your partner.
– If you have an insecure attachment style.
– If relationships are of primary importance to you.
– If you have low self-esteem, so rejection triggers shame.
– If you fear this relationship may be your last.
– If you haven’t grieved prior losses.
– If you’ve had depression.
–If you stay in contact with your ex.
– If loss and trauma from your childhood are triggered.
Blame
One of the main symptoms of codependency is poor boundaries. Codependents have difficulty seeing others as separate individuals, with feelings, needs, and motivations independent…
