Give and Let Give

…doesn’t just sound like a Beatles song

One of the biggest challenges I have had to overcome in the world of relationships is the business about letting someone do for me as I like to do for them. It’s rather difficult for people that are Frogs (see my Relationship Farm) or Lion/Lioness to accept help or accept gifts or someone paying for things, etc. This can be especially difficult for men in general. And so, my little token of advice with context to chew on.

Enjoy.

You like to give because it makes you feel good. You don’t let them give whether it’s because you always want to be the answer to the question or because you’re simply uncomfortable being in receive mode. If they didn’t let you give, you would not feel good. You not letting them give means they are not feeling good.

Easy peasy right? I think so but let’s, for the sake of relatability, break this down by animal type.

Frogs (men or women) are pleasers. They love the notion of give, give, give as it fuels them. Meaning, when someone gives to them, it throws off their world because the frog is supposed to be giving and they, by default, want that to be the way things go. Someone has to convince them that it’s actually okay to put their feet up sometimes and receive. My simple advice to you amphibious friends is, the same warm feeling you get, others deserve to feel to. You don’t want to deprive them of that right? What if the tables were turned?

Lions and lioness are in control meaning, they don’t need help. More specifically, lions aren’t weak and thus one should not be offering help because they don’t need it. The same is somewhat true for lioness but their real issue is the motive behind the giving or the feeling that they will lose some of their female empowerment the more they allow someone to pamper or spoil them. So to you big cats, here is what I will say. If you’re a lion and your pride (pun intended) won’t allow you to get help but the real sign of strength and confidence is vulnerability. Take my advice or ask your women friends. When you are so ‘confident’ and cocksure that you need no one but yourself, someone dating you will feel as though you are in fact dating yourself while they’re dating your status. And to you lioness, there is some reason to be cautious about receiving but the path to equality in a relationship is both sides having an entree into serving the other. Beneath that independent and confident exterior is someone that wants to get as much as they give and there’s nothing wrong with being mindful of how it’s all unfolding in front of you.