The Big Lie About Feminists

Too many men fail to see the most base and insidious kind of misdirection.

The big lie about feminists is we don’t care about what’s happening to boys and men. That calling out the deep seated problems in masculine culture means we don’t care. We care deeply. We are offering boys and men what a more humane culture should be offering millions of us but is not.

We are inviting boys and men into healthy authentic connection. We are holding them accountable, and ready to be held accountable by them, a crucial piece without which boys can not learn how to be in community or belong. Without the accountability piece none of us can belong.

We are inviting boys and men to tell their stories, to bring into the world their whole selves. A world where we, as men, can be proud of our distinctive aspects instead of hiding them from a bullying culture of manhood that doesn’t give a damn about who we are or what we feel in our hearts.

Be a feminist or don’t be a feminist. It won’t stop you from being able to love or care or grow. But understand that when those of us that align with feminism are labeled and vilified as hating men, it is the most base and insidious kind of misdirection.

Feminists are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters. Our work is to make human connection, purpose, equity and inclusion something that can be attained by all.

By all.

The big lie that feminists don’t care about boys and men keeps men lost in our most painful victimhood narratives. It blocks self reflection. Numbs our intuition about where the violence is really coming from, cementing the ugly manipulations of the gender binary. It keeps us from finding connection and community and meaning.

Feminism is not a war between the sexes. It’s a movement against violence in all its forms. Peace.

Mark Greene is an author and speaker on the dangers of Man Box culture. You can find links to Mark’s books, videos and the Remaking Manhood podcast here.