Men Are Not Bears

Men should be held to a higher standard.

Renata Ellera Gomes
Renata Ellera Archive

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Photo by 🇸🇮 Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

These past few weeks the internet exploded with a brand new click-bait debate: would women rather be stranded in the woods with a bear or a strange man? Women online overwhelmingly chose the bear, causing the indignation of men. Bears, after all, are vicious carnivores. They can run as fast as a racehorse, they can climb trees, and their attacks can be fatal.

I’ve been alive for 34 years and I’ve never met a bear. My interactions with men, however, have been too many to count. I’m sure they number in the thousands. The vast majority of them were pleasant, others not so much.

The first (and so far only) time a police officer pulled me over, was because of a man. It happened almost a decade ago.

It was around 8:30 pm in downtown LA and I was leaving work. I worked as a videographer, and shoots often ran late. I had left my car in a parking structure right next to the studio. It was a short walk, but my senses were on high alert at that time of night. As I waited for the elevator, a man approached me and asked me where something was. I didn’t catch what he wanted, so I replied I didn’t know.

Here’s the problem, though: he seemed altered. He didn’t look like someone who had spent the day doing office work and was now ready to go home and relax, and…

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Renata Ellera Gomes
Renata Ellera Archive

Writing about love, relationships, culture, and life in general. Get my book, Acid Sugar, at shorturl.at/hvAVX