Wear Sweaters and Bring Gifts
How seeing people can change marketplace encounters
An awkward interaction with a competing insurance claims processor presented an opportunity to apply our corporate value, caring relationships. This company had poorly managed a book of claims and we were taking over the work. We needed access to their records to know what we were getting into. A request was made to visit their Texas office and look through their work.
The date was set but it was clear they were very uncomfortable. They pushed back on our request for information and were cold and passive toward the visit.
Failure is tough. It’s embarrassing and may introduce fear into subsequent interactions. Failure brings vulnerability and people go on the defensive. Defensiveness is understandable. Vulnerability opens the door to exercise power. We were in the power position entering their territory with the upper hand.
Jill led the strategy for the trip. “Here’s what we are going to do: No power suits. We wear sweaters and jeans and let’s bring food and gift these folks to start the morning. They are hurting and fearful. They need kindness, understanding, and encouragement from us, not a power play. And who knows, we might get more information if we offer friendship rather than bring power.”
After pressing the buzzer at the front door, their contact, Jennifer, opened the door and invited them in. Her power suit with spiky heels clearly said, “back off.” She clicked down the hall and ushered them into a boardroom.
As Jennifer began the day she was guarded and stiff, obviously wishing she were someplace else. She had a little speech prepared and began to deliver it. Matt interrupted her and asked if they could start over. “Let’s eat first. We brought food, and I would love to tell you a bit about us and hear about you as well. This is an awkward situation and we need to get to know each other.”
The restart worked and though they didn’t get all the information they wanted, it was a cordial and pleasant day. As they left, Jennifer shook hands with everyone but Jill. She grabbed Jill, hugged her, and said, “You might just be my new BFF.”
This interaction begs the question, “Isn’t caring about people in the marketplace simply a tool to manipulate a situation for your advantage?” The accusation is accurate unless there is consistency in applying “caring relationships.” If it will not bring you advantage, are you still committed to the value? That’s the proof it’s a value and not simply a manipulative tool.
The larger commitment to human flourishing in the workplace is demonstrated by laying down power for the purpose of caring relationships.
