Trump’s Love Letter to the Medium Applause Button.
Dear “Greatest Idea Ever” Medium Applause Button,
I don’t like this Medium, too many words and to be honest many of them are not very nice about me. I don’t know why America would ever need anything that isn’t Twitter anyways. I was ready to sign an executive order to abolish the whole terrible mess.
Then I found you. The Medium Applause Button.
You are genius. You are beautiful.
I write these words, more words than I could fit into even two Tweets joined by adding a dot-dot-dot between them to beat the system. But it’s worth it. When people read these words they see the Applause Button. A real American who loves his country can hold his finger on the button and out come 50 claps for me. This is extraordinary.
You are too good for Medium, Applause Button.
You should be on the desk on every member of Congress. You should be on the TV. It would be even better than Fox & Friends.
Not so long ago I gave a speech. The State of the Union. A big speech. They say it was 80 minutes long. I used some very big words.
The Democrats sat on their hands like losers, never once clapping. That was very bad energy. I could have used you at that speech, Medium Applause Button.
Some people say it’s treasonous, how hard it is for me to get the standing O’s I deserve. Maybe it was me that said that. With all the being president and golf and making nice with Melania I’ve had to do lately it gets hard to keep things straight. But I think we can be big hearted here. Let’s call it laziness on the part of the Democrats. We can work together, Medium Applause Button, to fix that. You make it so easy for even these low-energy types to clap for Trump. Even easier than my friends at the NRA make it to pull the trigger on a machine gun.
I know they say I shouldn’t make a big deal of asking for my own claps here on Medium. That just sounds politically correct to me. SAD! CLAP!
You’re the best, Medium Applause button. I hate seeing you trapped in this website full of nothing but words. You should be everywhere in America. On TVs. In cars. In stores. In government buildings. You should be in all these places helping people who love America do their duty and clap for Trump. I’m going to put my best people on the job.
Yours with big love,
Donald Trump
President, Billionaire, etc & etc
