Where I’ve been.
A life update for my followers
Hey everyone, it’s been a while. Your probably wondering where i’ve been, and I know, I know, I have some explaining to do. No, I haven’t fallen off the face of the planet, but yes, I have some updating to do.
For those of you who follow my journey, you’re aware that my twin has been hospitalized due to schizophrenia. Needless to say, it’s been an incredibly tough time for all of us. Since my last update, I have had panic attacks so bad I needed to be hosptalized. My blood pressure reached 178/131 and I been feeling an intense sense of aggitation. I felt a sense of paranoia. I began to mistrust others. I went days without sleeping, and I felt hopeless.
Without her, i’ve lost my sense of self, and I, somehow, became spiritual. (Which is odd for me because i’m an athiest). We’re talking chakras, communicating with god, and reiki healing. Long story short, something switched in my brain.
Was I becoming my twin?
Mania.
Full. blown. Mania.
That’s right. After being put on an SSRI to cope with the depression I been experiencing I’ve become manic. I am already on day 2 without sleep, and my thoughts are racing like a tornado. I feel godly and euphoric. Yet, also feel agitated and out of control all at once.
I’ve never felt mania or paranoia before, so all this is new to me.
It’s scary.
It’s painful.
It’s destructive.
And-
I finally have the motivation to be posting on medium again.
We’ll see how long that lasts.
Anways, my update is that I am bipolar.
Can’t believe it.
For all I know, my twin might be too.
She might even be misdiagnosed?
Anyway, thanks for being there. Now, the the real healing starts.
