TrumPooning Tunes

Doctor My Thighs

Sung to Jackson Browne’s “Doctor My Eyes”

Image Source

Doctor, my thighs look like a steer’s
And my pants hide two huge spheres (they’re not hiding)
Mor-bid-ly obese, it’s true

On that trip to Walter Reed
That urine sample that I peed — hint of Florsheim
I retrieved it from my shoe

Doctor, my thighs
Cannot wear a thong
Triple-X size
Give thanks my SPANX are holding strong

When I was speaking, mouth was dry
I am unsteady, I won’t lie — but two handed
I can lift a water glass

It was hot but it was damp
It was a dry but slip’ry ramp — I feebly landed
Without falling on my ass

Doctor my thighs
Distract while I walk
But can’t disguise
The lies I’m slurring when I talk

<Guitar Solo>

Doctor my thighs
(Don’t) hurt my mental health
Eye Noble prize
Tell them my IQ’s high but stealth