Easter Bloat: A Haiku
Commercial sweetness
Bunny pounding destroys all
Easter pagan fail
The constant barrage of bunny wholesomeness. The commercialization of Easter in all its resplendent glory. I hate chocolate bunnies. I loathe the hunt for Easter eggs. I don’t understand this festival. I’m no Easter bunny searching for pagan meaning and lustful thrusting to replenish my spring load.
It’s all mixed up with the sanctity of religion. The holy bundle of fluff hopping over your kiddies sweet tooth. It’s a full-on facial of chocolate creaminess. The kids slather over the eggs. JC bows his head. The parents scream. The fat piles on and all around us the kiddies swill and froth over the Easter plight.
I hate Easter. It mixes with Passover. It gloats over my matzo, shaming it’s unleavened flatness. My birthday straddles both festivals. The conflict of wanting cake but having none as the unholy matzo taunts me with a candle. Birthdays with no cake. Easter with too much chocolate. Passover with too much emphasis on observance.
The conflict proving too much and embedding within my psyche nothing but loathing for the whole fucking month of April.
Stay back. I’m out of chocolate.
More haiku from Reuben
