I wear this smile like a mask

Poetry in free verse

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No, I am not lying,
I am only showing you
what you want to see,
because it’s easier to pretend
than to explain
why I am not alright.

I am afraid
that if I try,
you will argue,
tell me how
I have everything I need
that there is something wrong with me
if I am still sad.

But how do I explain
that the opposite of happy isn’t always sad,
and there’s a difference between
not knowing where I want to be
and not wanting to be where I am right now?

I am an expert at pretending
to be happy when I am not.

I think we all are.

That we bury our sadness
beneath those layers of fake smiles
and laughter that fails to hide
the shadows around our eyes.

This is our blessing,
this is our curse,
and we would rather pretend
than explain to you…