I Will Find My Way Back Home
Darker than I would prefer
So what is the work at hand now
Society collapsing
Death in the distance
6 feet across — not 6 feet under
What does next week hold?
Next minute?
Next second?
Is there something that can be done to help the doctors?
Does anybody have an N95?
Where do you think you’re going?
What are you going to eat?
How are you going to survive?
How did this become a sequence in a war movie?
before the storm arrives?
Are we almost there?
Somebody wrote about not only fear being contagious
but also hope and love
I have some writings on those things
So many voices
So many people with this and that to say
Is it possible that all of those old yearnings and craftings of writings and fruits are dead
The climate isn’t what it was
So tired
So tired
No matter how fast the atoms spin
No matter how hard the rock wall
No matter how shrill the calling bird
I will carry on
I do have much to offer
Even now
It is just a matter of finding my way
But who wants to be so serious at a time like this?
Now that it has all come tumbling down
Is it my turn to enter?
Do I climb in over the corpses and rubble and
Proclaim
Here I am
This is just what I’ve been waiting for
My job wasn’t to knock it all down
My job wasn’t to say “be careful or you’ll knock it all down”
It is already knocked down to me
My job is to say
not you better be careful or you’re gonna make a mess
I was already choking on the smoke
and the fuck it we’re gonna party till we’re dead gimme another corona souls of the party boys and girls
in Miami
where in a few years they can party with clownfish
tickling their coral scraped ankles
on Ocean Drive
No
I was always living in the post apocalyptic world
of my mind
yearning for the day
that my pleas to build the world of light
would attach themselves to receptors
like those little goopy spiky balls
that climb down walls
of living rooms
and lungs
Not quite yet.
But close.
Let the bulldozers clear a path
and the bodies be burned and buried
wait for time and the wind
and a storm or a season
to bring back the blue
and when they know
from that side
that the dark has settled
and there is no going back
and they ask where is the light
then I will say
follow me
I have been to the top of that mountain
but I do not remember how to get there from here
I only know
like a dog abandoned 1000 miles from home
the direction to start walking
and eventually
I will find my way
back home
