I Am Enough!
If seven billion people in this world, why do I feel alone?
A billion families including mine, but I feel nowhere home.
I sit on every stone, then hit my pelvic bone,
Then walk till I can’t anymore.
Maybe I just need someone to walk with me,
To talk with me, laugh and mock with me. Sometimes I am too tired to walk you see, Either I am thirsty or need a seat,
Some water and a shed may be,
And some solid food surely wouldn't hurt my teeth.
But whenever I look around in my real world, The nothing-good-happens-here familiar world,
Where people write fancy stories about dear worlds,
And then claim there is truth in their words.
Like everything is pink and bright in the real world,
And the sun never sets in their real world.
Do they do this to hide their seared world? So they don’t die without light with fear, curled?
They lie, hence snatch the peace out of our inner worlds,
Tell us lies that make our heads swirl,
Make us dream about that one person,
Who will be the locket to our warm red pearl.
But now I see they say what we want to listen,
They merely serve pretty fictions to gain recognition,
They made me believe there really is a person,
Who can bring a solution to my every problem.
Who will come on a magical day walking from the front,
Will be more soothing than the moon and warmer than the sun.
And I believed, 'cause it was too irresistible,
To look away from this lie and be any wiser.
I cursed because this person seemed to have vanished off the Earth,
Thought she would come and rescue me from the dirt,
Though life didn't seem yet, I believed with her, living will be worth,
And through lies like these depleted my self-worth.
But it was only till I saw it standing right there for me,
The person who’d walk, talk and mock with me,
Do you see it’s ME and there’s no one that I need?
I am enough as long as I believe myself to be.
And all this time I have been trying to find someone to love me,
Waiting as someone might just come and love me,
Wishing hard that someone really finds me and loves me,
Loves my unsightly face and the dull me.
The dumb me, a succumbing, underwhelming, rugged me,
And my absurd insecurities that mean nothing,
And all this time, I never felt complete,
Didn't matter if the odds were in my favour or against me.
And had I ever found someone luckily,
Would it even be fair to expect of her to love me?
To expect her to share the fight with my atrocities,
When I had lost all hope and gave up on any possibilities.
How could she love me when even I couldn't love me,
How could anyone, when I don't know the best for me?
When I am clueless about what and who I really need,
When I wander to find a stranger and don't care to tend to my family.
And why should someone care to love me?
When loving me is like taking a pain that feels deadly,
When I seek to be loved and not to reciprocate the feelings,
When the feeling that I address here love is so selfish?
