Cakelin Marquardt
Dec 10, 2019 · 1 min read
Photo by Dave Herring on Unsplash

I am not those numbers.
Not the right numbers.

I am brain dysfunction
and an unruly body
and endless analysis
and decisions that don't feel like mine.
Until it's 4 AM
and I'm touching madness again.

I am side effects that are the desired treatment.
I am grace chemically:
medication planetary alignment.
A thousand interactions of uncertainty
and late realizations.

I am the poem that arises
that can only describe
my chemical dependence
as a toxic abusive relationship
endorsed by society
and required to ingest politics.

You must wait to reveal because stigma.
Because discrimination.
Because fear of a future made impossibly worse.
Because you are a thing to be ingested by others.

Because your experience is the common man
and everyone will dance it.
A revelation they aren't prepared to ingest.

This gift will be my deadening.
I am fully prepared for all that comes.
I am defined and unlimited by my past.
I am words on a page that express who I am
because every symptom erases and builds.

I am anxiety enlightened.

Resistance Poetry

Verse as Commentary

Cakelin Marquardt

Written by

I write for machines and humans. Developer, biochemist, disabled, Buddhist, queer. Into policy, poetry, data rights, cognition research & tech diversity.

Resistance Poetry

Verse as Commentary

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