my friend is teaching her 8 year old (poem)
about boundaries, that it is ok to say no
when it comes to your body or your heart
and she is taking to it like a robin to air
or a carp to water
which seems both magical and strange
to a woman of my generation
come give uncle a hug
now, sweetie, give grandpa a kiss
don’t you want to give auntie a squeeze
when she pinches your cheeks it’s just because she loves you
he’s only mean to you in class because he likes you
give it a little more time
because men are different than women sweetie
I’m sure he didn’t mean to
I’m sure he won’t do it again
he’s got good intentions and a good heart you know
they taught us in school in New England, at least
that good fences make good neighbors
without telling us that Frost held a gun
to his daughter’s head until she said
she loved him.
Good fences make good neighbors
unless you’re a woman, then you’re not allowed
so much as a single picket
I wonder a bit what it will be like
when my friend’s daughter is grown
and she is very much a child of her generation
they teach them now
that not hugging is ok
that bodies belong to the person living in them
that love isn’t supposed to hurt you
I wonder if by the time they are done
good fences will make good neighbors
even if you’re a woman
even if there is no gun.
