The Last Super Bowl
The Patriot’s seized ring fifteen
in Super Bowl LXXXVIII.
They cheered, “Five for the third hand,”
and poured champaign to celebrate
their 97th straight win.
And last.
The once mighty Super Bowl market share
dwindled to 300,000 viewers,
most of them from Foxborough, MA.
Tom Brady 3.5, the Patriot’s
first fully-bionic clone, threw
18 touchdown passes. Ran two more.
The Kansas City Chiefs-Rams QB
threw seven interceptions.
Pats sacked him three times for safeties.
Trump 6.2, serving his 11th term, Tweeted:
“Best Super Bowl in history.
If you don’t count the one where
I led the Giants to victory over the
18–0 Patriots in the winter of 2012.
Eli Manning? Fake Sports News!”
Minority NFL players,
fired by Executive Order for
“disrespecting our Flag, our Military
and everything for which it stands,” (sic)
staged a protest during the game
to which Trump 4.2 Tweeted:
“Best thing that could of happened to them.
Have you seen a dead football player’s brains?”
That summer, four teams merged
and two more ceased operation.
The Patriots signed the best three players
(their record 620–28 since losing in 2018).
With only seven teams remaining,
the NFL cancelled the schedule.
Trump 4.3, back from the lab for adjustments,
Tweeted: “If they’d’ve merged with the USFL,
let me buy a team, NFL would own the world.
Now they’re just another loser gone bust.
Sad.”
He also Tweeted:
“Economy at 17%.
Stock market 500,000.
Every American working.
Made America Great Again.
Will Make NFL Great Again too.”
The NFL wiped “Eli Manning” from their records,
replaced his name with “Donald R. Trump” before
they cleared their offices and sealed the doors.
No one noticed. No one cared.
When you live in a world where truth changes daily
You sever ties with long term memory.
She’ll break your heart and
you can’t trust her anyway.
Wry noir author Phillip T. Stephens wrote Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell, and the Indie Book Award winning Seeing Jesus. Follow him @stephens_pt.
