The Model of a Man
Parental Advisory Notice: The following poem includes direct quotes
from President Donald Trump and is unsuitable for children.
The Model of a Man
Today in class my teacher asked
which heroes we admire -
We had to pick a person quick
to whom we do aspire
Of course I choose the person who’s
the highest in the land —
It’s evident the President’s
the model of a man!
I must assume that half the room
believed the same as I —
for it was “Trump!” we shouted out
when asked for our reply
The teacher sighed and rubbed her eyes
and simply asked us “why?”
A kid declared, “he’s a zillionaire!
At business, none compares!”
If he can help us win like him,
does it matter if he shares?
And when losers lose along the way,
then isn’t that just fair?
If I get mine and you get yours,
who cares if they get theirs?
“The president’s a genius!”
yelled another of my friends;
He built the wall to save us all -
and make us great again!
And but for him, the future’s grim -
we’ll all speak Mexican!
(The church agrees, for it decrees
that none but Trump shall win)
“Just look at Covid — Trump’s devoted!
He hides behind no mask!”
When protests flare, our man’s not scared
to fight with guns and gas;
His order and law protect us all
(unless, of course, you’re black)
“He shoots us straight! His words are great!
He tells it like it is!”
It may offend, but in the end
I want a voice like his:
“Horseface, fat, disgusting slob”
The man has got technique!
“Pocahontas” (keeps ’em honest!)
That’s how winners speak!
“Trump gets chicks!” a boy insists —
He knows how to succeed!
“A young and beautiful piece of ass”
is all you really need.
“Grab ’em by the pussy”
for a woman will submit —
His dating advice is rather precise:
“You have to treat ’em like shit”
My parents say the world today
has gotten out of hand —
that things look bad but still they’re glad
their party’s in command
“We’re Conservatives, son, it’s important he won;
someday you’ll understand”
Well I know what I see — who I want to be —
The model of a man.
