STRUGGLES

Don’t Invalidate Me

You Don’t Know the Full Context

Synthia Stark
May 12 · 3 min read
Photo by Vlad Bagacian from Pexels

One of my biggest fears is feeling misunderstood. I think it’s a reasonable and common fear to have since we are multi-faceted beings that cannot be confined to a simple box.

Being sequestered into a box where you do not belong does not sound pleasant and with the right mood, sound, and ambiance, I could present a tragic narrative that might make you cry.

However, I’m not in the emotional space for that, so you’ll have to settle for a passionate ramble tonight.

Time and time again, there are people in my life who feel that I am not doing enough or working too hard. They point these proverbial fingers at me, making me feel like I don’t know how to do certain things.

It’s taken me a long time to realize that I was being invalidated. I’ve only accepted this for the past few years — especially through the passage of time and wisdom.

Those individuals who said mean things have no idea of the cards, maneuvers, and duties that I maintain outside of certain situations. They don’t know the other stuff that I do on the side to keep myself emotionally, physically, and financially afloat.

I’m not just sitting there twiddling my thumbs until the next task arrives.

I strategically use pockets of time to get a task done and then work on the next big thing. I know how to pace myself but I’m often pressed against a wall because the math doesn’t add up.

It’s not supposed to.

For example, if it reasonably takes a certain number of hours to get one task done from one part of my life and another set of hours to get an unrelated task done, then the totality of these numbers would not be sustainable.

Yet, I am somehow operating despite that perceived unsustainability. The fact that I am still pushing forward is a testament to my time management and self-care.

From a critical thinking standpoint, I’ve seen many people crumble under the pressure of similar pursuits. These are the same people who have once pointed those fingers at me, claimed it was easy, nearly toppled over, ran for the hills, and realized that they goofed up.

The reality is, I know what I’m doing. I’m not perfect, but there was always a logic behind the madness that is my life. Each decision made has always had dual (if not multiple) purposes.

Being invalidated is harmful. It’s never good to assume what other people are doing. If we knew the full scope of what others did, we would not be inclined to judge others so harshly.

On my end, I use this knowledge to be in a better position to help others. While I am not perfect and I have a long way to go, we should always give the benefit of the doubt to those who are in our lives.

RESONATES

This is a safe place for your confessions, struggles, and thoughts. Be part of us. 👐

Synthia Stark

Written by

2X Top Writer | Canadian Writer & Researcher | Aspiring Therapist | Writing about mental health, psychology, etc. https://linktr.ee/SynthiaS

RESONATES

RESONATES

This is a safe place for your confessions, struggles, and thoughts. All in the name of acceptance, love, and support. Writers and readers come together in this close-knitted community of ours. Be part of us. 👐

Synthia Stark

Written by

2X Top Writer | Canadian Writer & Researcher | Aspiring Therapist | Writing about mental health, psychology, etc. https://linktr.ee/SynthiaS

RESONATES

RESONATES

This is a safe place for your confessions, struggles, and thoughts. All in the name of acceptance, love, and support. Writers and readers come together in this close-knitted community of ours. Be part of us. 👐

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