SELF LOVE
The Imposter Syndrome That Never Ends
Pretending to Be Good, Liked, and Everything in Between
Am I alone in feeling like an imposter every day of my life?
As a Child
My sister is a prodigy pianist. Ever since she could sit up straight she’s been playing. As a professional jazz pianist who has performed at concerts, her level of excellence is clear. And honestly, she really has a gift.
Growing up in a culture that equates children who play the piano as “good kids,” I was placed in piano lessons to follow my sister’s path. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t read sheet music. Luckily with good ears for melody and memory for sound, I cheated my way through until the songs became too long to memorize.
I got caught, and felt I was…not good enough.
As a Teen
How else would you try to get a boy to like you? You see the girls who are getting the most attention and try to imitate them. Their clothes, their hair, and the way they talk.
I borrowed my sister’s school band letterman jacket, wore it with the sleeves on but shoulders exposed like the way the cheerleaders wore their boyfriends’ sports jackets. Maybe I kind of looked the part, but I wasn’t fooling anyone…
