0.9 unsucky ways to stab yourself in the eye

Less than 1: A tart campaign against overused headline conventions.

The story that goes with headline: Ummm, none. There’s not even one way. Whenever you stab yourself in the eye it sucks. I just used .9 in case there wasn’t.

(If you’re tired of listicles and every goddam headline that contains a number, let alone two — “Why I’m Launching 6 New Startups In The Next 6 Weeks, And How I’ll Do It Even If I Can’t Code” — then please create your own headline in the comments.)