The Art of Altered States
Part 1: The Mushroom
It started on a hike where a friend introduced me to the Mushroom that we ate with our pizza pockets — to hide the taste for easy swallowing.
Prior to eating it, the extent of my exposure to mind (and vision) altering substances was only with the devil’s lettuce and alcohol. I was told that I would feel happy and all colours would increase in its vibrance — which undeniably happened.
What I didn’t see coming, is that I would unconditionally fall in love with the vibrant colours of the forest, the earthy smells from the ground, crisp sounds of the flowing water, and this new sensation awareness of everything that was going around me.
The psychedelic compound naturally intrigued me in 2010 — I vividly remember writing down a ‘dream list’ of sorts, to accomplish sometime during the course of my life and I intuitively typed L-S-D without any prior research or exposure to the substance. Only a vague recollection of it being a hallucinogenic.
In the likeminded community, we say that when the time is right, the spirit itself will come get you.
The spirit came to me early, but the actual experience took place 5 years later on that fateful day I acquired passion toward the outdoors — something I never imagined myself of becoming because as far as I remembered, I never enjoyed hiking or being outdoors.
Subsequently, I went hiking again in a non-altered state to ensure that I wasn’t enjoying the activity based on a fleeting emotion or sensation: would I need to eat Mushrooms every time I go hiking?
It turned out that I didn’t — I thoroughly enjoyed being outdoors and pushing myself to enjoy the view after the hard climb.
The magical chemical that was dancing in my body for a few hours left a long lasting, almost permanent effect, that fundamentally changed who I was.
The First Time
From my observations being a trip-sitter, I can confidently say that the first time on a psychedelic substance is mainly external: visual and physical sensations become fully stimulated as if trying to show us that we are still in control of our core, and this experience is not going to be invasive — there is nothing to be afraid of.
My first time was just like that too: I was deeply absorbing my world through all my senses.
The vivid colours of the forest and flowers, crisp sounds of the flowing water in the river mixed with the rustling sound of the trees and chirping noises of forest residents were all so loud yet not obnoxious.
The freshness of the air and the earthy scent coming from the ground were like a wholesome symphony, giving my nose a break from vibrant scents of the city.
And the uncovered sun was just a treat — I was living in Vancouver at the time and any opportunity to get sun kissed was a blessing. With or without substances.
The First Lesson
Soul and body are two separate things.
It was another hiking adventure with 4 of my other friends, but only 2 of us ate the Mushroom.
At some point during our climb, my friend started tumbling and loosing his balance. We stopped for a moment, he leaned on me, and I saw a light shadow getting pulled up from his body — as if his essence, his soul, his energy, was being taken out.
I resorted to slapping his face a couple of times hoping he would snap back — his essence definitely did, but his mind was still somewhere in between the physical and spiritual world.
Since we got separated from our friends, I had to learn very fast to maintain my coherence and snap back into reality to ensure we don’t get lost or aimlessly float on the trail in the way of other hikers — so I got us to sit on the side for a moment until he was able to walk again.
He looked like he completely lost it — he couldn’t talk, he was aimlessly looking at everything around him, and at some point was trying to stuff his hands in his mouth.
For a moment I wondered if this is what happens to some people that I saw on the streets — perhaps some switch went off and now they are permanently stuck in that unaware state.
Acknowledging how susceptible the mind can be in an altered state, I was very surprised that I didn’t follow the evil bunny down the dark rabbit hole. But definitely made a note.
When we finally got re-connected and my friend came back to the real world — he said he experienced an out of body experience and felt a rope looped around his waist that was pulling him up out of his physical body.
At that moment I felt a shiver wave going over my body because I knew and saw what he was talking about.
The Afterglow
On our way back down the mountain, I started recalling everything that I learned about Buddhism and any notions and definitions of the soul.
I came up with the following interpretations and ways to understand what it is:
1 — an energetic field of my body. Like if I were an atom, the electrons flying around me is my soul.
2 — my consciousness / self-awareness.
3 — the holy duo of my brain and my heart: the essential component that makes me who I am.
4 — the non-physical embodiment of my psyche.
*This article does a great job at summarizing various definitions and interpretation of soul.
Could it be possible that some souls get reincarnated and live multiple lives?
Are deja-vu moments actually random or are they some kind-of familiarity snoozers that go off when we encounter a familiar experience from the past life?
If there is a possibility that we lived before, could it be that we naturally gravitate toward people with whom we established connections in our past lives?
If the soul is an electro-magnetic substance that we can’t see, would it carry DNA of past lives?
The Second Vision
Reincarnation: could it be a natural cycle of soul just like there is a natural cycle of water in nature?
I was melting away on the beach and as I started coming up, I asked “what is time?”
My friend said something along the lines of “it’s a man-made invention to make sense of things”
And bam — through the hyper loop I go, observing the life I lived in an alternate reality. Based on what I was wearing, the time period resembled regency era style of early 19th century England.
I experienced my entire life of about 12–16 years, until I died in a shipwreck — all over a span of a few minutes.
Snapped back to reality with my eyes full of tears as I felt so much fear being submerged in water moments before death, combined with a sense of complete hopelessness.
I always had an irrational fear of open water and depth. When my toes don’t feel the ground, I get anxious.
I heard before that irrational fears that we have — fears that can’t be explained — could have been the reason of our death in our past life.
Coincidence or not, it made sense like two puzzle pieces and I didn’t have anything to counter-think it with. I was also not in any ability to resist anything that was flowing into my brain.
As I ‘awakened’, I asked how long was I out: and when I heard “only a few minutes”, my eyelids shut close again and I saw another reincarnation of myself but in a different setting.
It looked very futuristic, for those who had seen Cloud Atlas, it felt like Neo-Seoul.
In that world I was killed at night time — someone covered my mouth with poisoned gas and I went out quick. This time I didn’t feel frightened but was at peace knowing I lived up to my destiny in that lifetime.
I was always scared of darkness, specifically of the things that could lurk out in the night. I was afraid that something would jump out and attack me. And it would be ridiculous — my mind would project images of horror movie characters that I saw on posters, or creatures that only exist in fiction. For now.
Another two puzzle pieces fit.
Message from the Stars
Subsequent mushroom trips were milder in comparison but their magic never stopped.
About 4 years after the two trips described above, I spoke to an astrologist out of personal curiosity. She did a birth chart reading based on the western zodiac and helped me uncover some truths about me that I always felt but never acknowledged.
The most fascinating was when she told me that I am an old soul and I lived a few lives before — this is not my first life cycle.
I felt a wave of shivers all over my body and all my hair standing up. Now I had 2 sources ‘confirming’ the same.
The Takeaway
If before I used to look at esoteric lifestyles with a slightly sceptical side eye, now it became a part of me and significantly contributed to my happiness, sense of purpose and overall to the individual that I am today.
Mushrooms paved my way into this spiritual journey of self-discovery allowing me to stretch the existing boundaries of my worldview — external, of everything around me, and internal, of everything that I am.
For that, I am forever grateful.
Read part II about LSD here.
