Gutless

Snehanshu Shome
Respite Journals
Published in
2 min readOct 26, 2017

The funny thing was I knew about her nothing. Her past was a mystery, her present a deception from the world, her future something she herself hadn’t figured it out yet. Her actions, her interests were from a different universe altogether. Even she didn’t know herself the web of stories she was creating. I got attracted to that. I loved that. Slowly, I became a part of her story. Nobody knew what she saw in me. Neither did I but I loved that more.

Though deep down there were always the feelings — the sense of losing her, the sense of not knowing her fully, the sense of disappointment from her side for me. But I went on. Rohan interrupted “You loved her you fool so much, Of course, you went on. You went on for that psycho GF of yours once whom you thought you loved, that’s the kind of person you are, and then this is Fara we are talking about, the best girl you ever dated”. There was fun in the relationship and a straightforwardness. There was no pretending. If a conversation turned boring and dragged on, we knew when to quit. There was a level of love different from anything I had ever seen. We could vibe on the same frequencies always. The understanding didn’t come up in a moment, it took time for us, a failed school time relationship, a difficult college friendship, a crazy GF for me and a painful bf for her. What brought us together was the intensity, the closeness, the similarity among us which we discovered in superhero movies and music.

Rohan and the rest of the gang, my gang didn’t like her much. I thought maybe now this conversation should be stopped. I had been blabbering about her the last two hours, I was desperate but I didn’t want to show I was in front of them. Two years had happened between today and her. Career and Love came face to face as did mobiles and touch. The gang was all I had now.

A message popped on my screen — “Your best friend messaged me that you still miss me and can’t live without me, what is all this, is this all true” — It was Fara.

Six years ago, I had received a similar text from Fara — “Your best friend messaged me that you love me and that you don’t have the guts to come up and say that to me.”

No traditions were broken next when I replied her it’s true and she replied back — “Well come up to me and say that again tomorrow face to face” both the times.

Rohan smirked. He knew me and he knew what had to be done even now.

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