Why I’m Jumping Ship
by Patrick Tomassi
One morning several weeks ago, I woke up, turned off my iPhone alarm, and stared at my phone’s screen. Nothing happened. A small airplane symbol reminded me that the antenna was off. I got up, sat down at my computer, and began to write.
That morning was different. The previous evening, I’d watched a video (see left) that a friend shared, entitled “Early Wake, Daily Write.” The video recommends getting up early, silencing unnecessary communication, and taking the first moments of the day to write. I was intrigued, but skeptical. I did not think something as simple as not receiving my texts first thing in the morning could make a difference. But I was wrong. What I am finding is that without that background noise in my mind, I can focus harder and accomplish much more, something I now wish I’d figured this out in college. Since that morning, I’ve tried to make this a routine, and have become aware of my biggest distraction: facebook.
As soon as I’ve typed ‘f’ into my browser and seen the rest of the URL autofill, as soon as I’ve tapped the iPhone app, my focus is gone for the better part of the day. I sit down to work just the same, but floating somewhere back there in the recesses of my brain is that strobing blue light. Over and over again I tell myself, “okay, I’ll check for two minutes and then get back to work.” Two becomes five, five fifteen, and soon I’ve wasted time that I needed in order to get my work done.
Also several weeks ago, I read a little booklet by Fr. Jonah Lynch entitled “Technology and the New Evangelization.” I expected to learn about what the title implied, but instead learned about myself. One of the points Fr. Jonah makes is about the personalness of communication.
“I recently received an email from a friend named Anna. She wrote to me of a particularly dramatic day in which she discovered the friendship of a person dear to her. The letter was beautiful, a simple and moving story. Then, a few weeks later I was speaking with a mutual friend about this message, she revealed she too had received the same email. But wasn’t it an email sent to me? Or was it more like a newspaper article, copied for ease and sent to several people? And then again, why do we tend to feel disappointed when we discover this sort of thing? Why should the letter be less valuable if it were sent to others as well?” (page 15)
If I received a handwritten note, I would take that very seriously. A personal email? I would pay attention. A mass email? Less likely. If you follow the progression, down at the most meaningless end of the spectrum is communication that is not even to me, but broadcast: a facebook post (or a tweet, or whatever). Thinking about this, I was reminded of an experience I had last spring, when I began to tell a friend about some events that had taken place over the past year. As I got to the meat of the story, I heard myself repeating a polished monologue. I wasn’t talking to a friend about my experience; I was reciting a facebook post to her. The trend I am beginning to notice in my life is that my normal communications, even face-to-face conversations, have become more and more like my facebook profile — suitable for broadcast, stripped of personal struggles, sanitized for public consumption: meaningless. Yes, I realize the irony of writing this in an article, and especially of sharing it on facebook.
Thinking back over Fr. Jonah’s booklet, I recognized another habit. I tell people who ask that I use facebook to stay in touch with friends who live far away. But on a day-to-day basis, that’s not the case. I use facebook to find out if people like me, if they think I’m funny; I use facebook to satisfy a void of affection in my life. This isn’t some O-pity-me; we all approach that void to one extent or another for most of our lives. But for me, the realization requires a judgment — does facebook fulfill what it ‘promises,’ what I expect to receive from it? So far, the answer is no. And this means something has to change. Between the percentage of my attention that it consumes, the quality of relationships it encourages in my life, and the void that it helps to mask, I’ve decided to take my leave.
I want to be clear; I don’t think facebook is a bad thing — I think it’s a neutral thing that does not help me live. I’m no luddite; I’ve got an iPhone and it’s not going anywhere. And I don’t think everyone should jump ship en masse, although it wouldn’t matter much if I did. If I could use facebook in such a way that it helped with my life, instead of my life becoming a tool to improve my facebook page, if I could use it without it becoming a continual distraction, I might keep it. But the way things are right now, it’s gotta go. It’s time for me to focus on more personal forms of communication, on real relationships, and on the work in front of me.
I would encourage you, if you find this story compelling, to try silencing the distractions first thing in the morning. See if you get more done, feel more alive, and less distracted. And go look at trees. That’s what I’m going to do.
. . .
I can still be reached by email, phone, and snail mail, when I’m not looking at trees.
