#BigParentingIdea — 2 > 1 (True, But A Bad Idea)
Two is greater than one. That’s, of course, true.
When is it a bad idea?
When you call for reinforcements (your spouse). Because you think that when you are together, speaking in unison, the child will listen and obey.
If you call for reinforcements (your spouse) it means:
- you haven’t thought about your contribution to the problem and want to intimidate the child (get yourself off the hook),
- you don’t work toward finding the best solution (one that will consider both sides’ needs — your and your child’s), but you want an easy way out (make the child comply and be done with it),
- you think that parenting is about speaking with one voice (what if what you came up with is unfair / hurts the child?),
- you teach the child that when two people want something it has a greater power (#1 you’ll always need your spouse as reinforcements, and #2 your child will think that he /she will always be doomed to lose to you, when you’re in unison),
- you teach the child that when two people want something they can have it, only because they are two and you are one (other things being totally unimportant),
- you teach the child that when you are by yourself (as his / her parent) you are weak,
- you teach the child that when you are by yourself (as his / her parent) you can’t handle problems, resolve conflicts.
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