#BigParentingIdea — A Two-Way Street
I’m not going to push my son into a career that is “practical”/ “safe”/ prestigious/ well paying.
Because I know that pushing him into such career doesn’t count as help.
It’s how parents satisfy their own needs.
So that we can give ourselves a pat on our backs and say I did my best as a parent!/ I did a great job as a parent!
So that we can enjoy a peace of mind.
So that we can feel proud, and have a reason to brag among other parents (or at family gatherings) and don’t feel uncomfortable when others share their success stories.
I’m not going to allow a situation where my ego and peace of mind will prevent him from picking a career / life path he could have chosen were it not for my needs.
But, it’s a two-way street.
And thus, I’m not going to allow a situation where his ego and his desire to brag about me will prevent me from picking a career / life path I could have chosen were it not for those needs of his.
I will not do things for the sole purpose of giving him a reason to brag about his father among his elementary or high school friends.
The car I drive. Will it cause people to pass out should they find out how much it costs to replace floor mats in our car? Do I own a car?
The amount of money I make each month. Will I make the list of highest paid parents in his class (school)?
The vacation destinations we can visit. Does it impress people? Did we meet Leonardo DiCaprio or Beyoncé?
The place we live in. Does it have a swimming pool? How much does it cost per square meter? Who else lives there? Is there a concierge in our house?
My job title/ profession. Does it impress people? How much power does it exude? Is it prestigious?
Our life. Do we live an elite life? Do we eat in expensive restaurants? Do we light cigars with $100 bills? (except it’s not even my style)
His role as my son is not to give me a reason to brag about him.
My role as his father is not to give him a reason to brag about me.
A two-way street.
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