#BigParentingIdea — ‘I Am So Proud Of You’ vs. The Message You Want To Send

‘I am so proud of you’ sucks because it sends the child a message that she’s lived up to the expectation of her parent.

The attention is on a parent’s expectation, not on what could possibly be important for the child.

The message it conveys is ‘You’ve achieved the result that I value and care a lot about’.

Unfortunately such message has zero value for the child.

Now, compare the above message to the following list of possible messages that pinpoint your child’s interests / passions / efforts / goals:

‘You did it’

‘It was important to you and you’ve achieved your goal’

‘I’m excited / thrilled / sad because I know how much it meant to you’

‘I love you nonetheless’

‘I accept you, always’

‘I believe in you no matter what’

‘I want to know the secret behind your success and why it is so important to you, so tell me about it’

Get rid of this clichéd expression and come up with something that will bring value to your child.


Thanks for reading! If you liked this article, here’s more.

Writing is my oxygen. I write every day. About parenting, career life and the challenges of being a young adult.

Each day I share my musings on my blog http://mygame.typepad.com.

You might consider subscribing to my newsletter which goes out once each day. In it you’ll receive my newest posts. No spam guaranteed. Promise!

You can also subscribe to my Medium Publications and receive an e-mail each time I publish a new story. Here they are:

I appreciate every second you spend reading my stuff!

- Lukasz