#BigParentingIdea — When Grades Matter More Than Learning. Success And Failure In A School Setting.

The definition of ‘success’ is simple. It’s having or having achieved what you wanted.

Hence, ‘failure’ is not having or not having achieved what you wanted.

Yes. ‘Success’ and ‘failure’ as concepts are this simple.

As we can see, it all boils down to the things we want. If we managed to get those things for ourselves, we call it a success. If we didn’t, we call it a failure.

How about ‘success’ and ‘failure’ in a school setting? What is it that we strive for in those places?

Let’s take a look.

Schools (teachers) usually care about grades. They want their students to have best grades and their school to be the best (among the best). That’s the result (goal) they care about, because that’s the easiest way to measure performance and that’s how the current school system has been designed years ago, and how it still works today.

How you score compared to other schools/ students/ peers has always been the easiest method of assessing results.

Now, should getting As be our children’s goal (desired outcome)?

In most cases that’s exactly what their goal is, but should it be their goal? Does it make any sense for children to want As? What would they need these for?

Most people would say “They need them to be admitted to college.”

True. Colleges, unfortunately, also use the same metric, because it’s the easiest way to make this whole thing work. Imagine a system where grades do matter at school and cease to matter in college.

But should we give up our own goals and adjust to whatever it is schools and colleges want from us? And pay them shitload of money for this? Pay them for not being able to take what we want out of them?

Schools and colleges sure (I get it), they need something to show up for. They are being constantly put next to other schools and ranked against them, so they’d better care about grades.

From the school’s point of view, children’s goal should be getting good (best) grades. In other words be “good students”. “Good student” in this case means obedient and scoring high on tests.

From the children’s point of view however, it would make most sense if they most cared about learning rather than grades and comparing those grades with other children’s grades. They’d be better off being thoughtful students rather than “good students”.

A thoughtful student asks a lot of questions, challenges the status quo and established “experts”, whereas a “good student” is known for knowing and giving the “right” answers and getting good grades.

Taking into account the current educational system this is a far cry from what it actually looks like in schools.

Children (and their parents) fall into the trap this system set up for them and they also care about grades.

A common reaction to a bad grade is “Look at Mark, look at Susan. And John, and Martha. They all have As. Aren’t you ashamed of yourself.” or “You will not go far in life with Ds and Fs.”

We want this child to care about grades and being among the best in class because we “know” that without best grades they will not be able to go to college, and because they will not have a college degree they will not be able to find a job.

That’s a lie the majority of people ended up believing and schools and colleges are making very good money because of that.

We are a society obsessed with “producing” college graduates, perfect job candidates with impressive CVs, rather than human beings. In developed countries having a college degree will soon be as common as having a bank account and will give young people no real competitive advantage in the job market.

We can see it even today. Many young adults who were A students in schools and who have college / university degrees are afraid, stressed out and at a loss.

Some of those young adults are even more puzzled than their peers who didn’t graduate from college and who haven’t figured out yet what they want to be when they grow up. They, college kids, are supposed to have better chances in the job market, but when you find yourself in a sea of equally puzzled college graduates it soon dawns on you that your college degree might not be the Holy Grail you thought it would be.

The message children get from their parents is “Your school grades and your college degree are by far the most important thing in your whole life.”

Again, a lie we have all bought into. What about the slightly bigger time window? The 25–90 time window (basically where most of our lives happen). This bigger time window is not the time to cash in on our school grades and college degrees. It’s the time to learn, grow, improve, and reinvent ourselves.

How do you get good and best grades in school?

Simple. You give lots of “right” answers. You read the material, memorize it, and you give it back to them. Questions that could destabilize the established theories, shatter the longstanding assumptions and give all sorts of experts and authorities a headache are not welcome.

There is a difference between memorizing and learning. Schools want kids to memorize and regurgitate.

If schools (teachers) and students play the same game the process goes smoothly. They really want children to care about grades because without this vital component the system would collapse.

The definition of ‘success’ is simple. It’s having or having achieved what you wanted.

Are grades (report cards) what our children should want out of schools?

Or maybe it is the learning experience — taking on challenges and risks, trying, failing, questioning assumptions, making course corrections and trying again? Because that’s what real learning is.

Real learning is not about memorizing stuff and caring only that you will score enough points on your test (or even better — have the best score in class). That’s not learning, because where failure is not welcome no learning is possible.