Astronomically Improbable Astrology #8
Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19)
The clock is ticking, little Cinderella, and you’re worried that you haven’t danced with the prince yet. Before long, bells will ring in the night and your dreams will disappear in a shower of fairy dust. You must make your move now or else it will be too late.
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20)
She draws lines into the earth, her fragile stick scritch scritch scritching away. The sound grates on your years but you do not stop her. You don’t know whose life would be cut short if she did not finish.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
The winds whisper in your ear. They say they only tell the truth, but you don’t trust them. You can’t afford to. The price of their words is too high. I am one of those winds, and I promise you we cannot lie. Listen to our guidance. You can’t afford not to.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
Times have grown tough recently and you’re all too aware of this. You’ve always considered yourself solid as a stone, stalwart even under the greatest weights, but now you’re not so sure. You’ve overextended yourself and even the strongest rocks break and melt under the Earth’s pressure. Now is the time to step back and let someone else take responsibility for once.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
Living a policy of honesty as the best policy has worked well for you until now, but soon this moral ethic of yours will be put to the test. Trust your instinct on this. While the truth may seem cruel, keeping others in a trapped in a gilded lie can be even worse for all involved.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
Something rests at the bottom of the water. You cannot make out its features but you know it isn’t human. It isn’t of this earth. It flickers and wavers and you would think you were imagining it if I didn’t see it, too. I cannot hear it but I know it sings to you. A lovely lullaby of all that’s come and all that’s yet to pass. A look of exquisite pleasure passes over your face and I am overcome with envy. The old adage got it wrong. Burdensome knowledge is bliss.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
Robert Frost was right when it comes to you. Well, mostly right. Right now there are two roads diverged before you in Muir Woods. It is up to you to decide whether you will take the safe path, the easy path, the drink you’ve already had many times before or you will finally try the weird-sounding drink you’ve never tried but have been so morbidly curious to try since you first saw it.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
Three little bodies
Lying on the empty road
Waiting ’til you pass.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
Empty seats at full tables, piled high with everything you want but nothing you can have. The same is not true for Jeremy. He wants none of these things and yet he takes and he takes and he takes from every table and all you can do is watch. You never liked Jeremy.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
Your love life has been turbulent and you’ve been wondering if it’s all worth it. Yes, it is. With every up and down, you are learning, and that’s not knowledge to be spurned. It will all help you in the end.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)
There is no other way. There is no other way. There is no other way. I’m sorry but there is no other way. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorryI’m
sorryimsorryimsorryimsorrysorryorrysorrysorrysorrysor
Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20)
The rabbit on the moon is more than just a fairy tale, a remnant of your childish whims and unfettered imagination. He is real and the shadow he casts is too great for one as small as he. Or at least, that’s what you had always thought. He is so much bigger than you could ever have imagined, and soon he will be too big for his home. It is your job to find him a new one, or the consequences will be far greater than anyone could foresee.
