Astronomically Improbable Astrology #4
Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19)
The death of the month is a time for great change. New beginnings and opportunities will appear, often hidden as the gifts that they are. Now is the time to step forward and take advantage of what has come before you.
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20)
Fear of the dark is a fear well-deserved. Those who dwell in darkness must never forget what it feels like to be light. The risk of forgetting themselves is too great to be ignored.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
The stars converge tonight to form a dark omen. Do not go further than Urie Hall. You will not like what you see and you may not make it back.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
The stresses of life (and midterms) aren’t worth the emotional and psychological pain you put yourself through. Take a moment to take a breath and smell the delicious OceanView pizzas. The pain won’t disappear but at least you’ll have pizza.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22)
The raccoons know your innermost secrets. There is no need to worry. They will keep them safe — as long as you repay your debt.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
Loose ends and tethers does not a pretty picture make. Try reconnecting with friends and acquaintances you haven’t talked to in a while. This is a good time for weaving those threads back into your life.
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
A foregone conclusion is not as absolute as you might think. Ask for a second opinion before acting. An important friendship may depend upon it.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
The wayward vagabond will make his appearance soon. He has traveled far to deliver his message to you. Only answer the door to three slow knocks. If you hear the cadence of “Shave and a Haircut,” do not open the door. False messengers send false truths.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
As a Fire sign, patience is a virtue you need to learn. Adventure is in your soul, but it can wait a few more minutes. Not everything can be accomplished by plowing your way through obstacles and hoping for the best.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
You wrote it on the wall and you wrote it again. This is not a place for lies. We do not like the lies you wrote. Remove them or else be removed.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)
There are words at the tip of your tongue. They are not your words, not even your language. You think it might be German. These strange words almost make their way out but you just manage to choke them back down. They taste mean and toxic and like swallowing fire. You hear laughter in the back of your mind. Schadenfreude.
Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20)
You have been placing your energies in the wrong avenues as of late. Take these next few days to evaluate where your time and effort can be better spent. This will not be an easy task but you will be happier in the end.
