Men, Looking for Help With Emotions? Watch Cinema Therapy on YouTube. Trust me.

Everyone should watch it but I think so many men who feel lonely, confused, and hurt should watch it.

This is their newest video, and it sums up wonderfully what these two lovely gentlemen aka “Internet Dads” do. Meet Johnathon Decker, a licensed therapist who loves movies, and Alan Seawright, a licensed filmmaker who needs (and gets) therapy. Best friends for 15+ years, “movie wives” for each other, and two of the most emotionally available healthy male role models you will most likely ever see.

They use movies as a vehicle to discuss things like healing from trauma, anger management, mental health issues, relationship issues, etc, and have a whole ton of fun doing it. They also discuss filmmaking techniques, story craft, VFX, etc.

You will laugh a lot, learn a lot and see men willing to show emotion consistently. Alan tends to get emotionally caught up in movies so there is an ongoing hashtag joke #CryingwithAlan but we all love him for it and learn from it.

I came across Cinema Therapy due to the YouTube algo and it was early in the channel’s creation (they just recently got 1 million subscribers so YAAAY! So cool!). I think the first vids of theirs that I watched was the LOTR one about Toxic Masculinity and how Aragorn shows how to be an emotionally healthy male vs being a toxic one.

And what I loved about it was how they delved into the fact that “Toxic Traits” are really just certain good traits taken to a very bad place.

The great thing about this channel, while I am sure others out there do similar things is the sense of being with good friends who are just having fun chatting about movies, the production value and setting are great, and their conversations are fun and also heartfelt and their manner and voices are very soothing.

However, for the purposes of this blog I want to talk about how they make it non-threatening for men to discuss having feelings about trauma, feeling inadequate, moving through the world after doing things that hurt people, and facing up to the fact that maybe in the past they were cruel or harsh (intentionally or not) and being willing to learn and evolve from that place that maybe they felt shoved into by society.

Alan is very open about how he is in therapy (his therapist is not Johnathon as you don’t let your best friend also be your therapist) but Johnathon aka Jono will often slip into a sort of “supportive friend/therapist” mode when Alan starts dealing with emotional triggers that he may have and Johnathon’s advice and demeanor are both incredibly gentle and understanding but also spot on.

Pixar movies get Alan crying every time. Just FYI.

There have been eps where Jono will hug Alan when he needs it and vice verse.

Jono also models the idea of respecting other people’s boundaries. They have a crew member that sometimes sits in with them and provides commentary on the movie as well, and she is not comfortable with being touched.

One time Jono was talking about something with regards to personal boundaries and how things can be misconstrued and since she was sitting next to him, he started to reach out to her to demonstrate and made sure to ask “Consent to touch?” before he placed a hand on her knee. She said yes and he continues. She put in the comments that he always does that because he knows her boundaries.

They also are very frank with the fact that they are both Christians but they make it a point to state that their beliefs are their own and that in no way do they use them as a reason to be intolerant of others, they are very supportive and open. They are always willing to listen and learn from their audience with regard to changes in the LGBTQ world and how the language around them is consistently shifting. They’ve readily apologized when they have been inadvertently offensive and always do better the next time a similar topic comes up.

The other thing I adore is that they repeatedly state “Look, we’re a pair of straight, white married guys so we’re not going to try to pretend that we really understand what POC, women, or LGBTQ folks are going through, but we’re here to learn and be supportive.” So they will often have guests on that they feel will do a better job discussing the topics for that specific vid.

But back to why men, in particular, should watch this.

It’s simple really, these are two men who have gone through the same struggles you are going through and will go through regarding emotions, life, and adapting to a changing world, and they both model really wonderful behaviors as well as admit where they can improve and offer advice on how to do so.

If you’re not feeling comfortable with talking to others, maybe don’t have the language on how to convey what you’re feeling, or just aren’t sure of what it is you’re feeling you’ll find help and answers here just watching the vids. It can give you a place to start getting a handle on things.

They also have a membership site where you can get more info on mental health, how to deal with conflict resolution, and communicate better, so it is a great resource to learn from.

They have well over 100 videos now and each one tackles something new I always watch them when they come up on my notifications.

With the increasing focus on men feeling alone, and confused, and realizing how badly societal standards have messed them up I think there need to be more and more men who are offering places for men to go to listen, learn and grow and these videos are like mini free therapy sessions.

When you scroll through the comments on their videos you see consistently how just watching the videos has helped thousands of people start dealing with issues and choose to get therapy, which is what the whole goal of their channel was.

These are things that men need to help each other with, because, and I say this not to be mean but to be honest, women don’t 1. Have the bandwidth anymore and 2. Have the answers for you. This is something that truly men need to come together and support each other through instead of seeking safe harbors in women because that is all society allowed you to do in the past.

Jono and Alan have built a wonderfully nurturing safe place for anyone dealing with emotional issues but mostly for men to come to and, by using the language of movies, show how we can all be better humans and how men can truly be supportive of each other and improve each other’s emotional well being.

Watch it, I promise you will have a blast and come away with a lot of useful concepts and ideas of how to start to heal and grow.

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