The feeling of growing older
As human beings, one of the most unique experiences we are fortunate enough to witness is that of growing older.
Whether you’re a kid, or if you’ve passed your childhood stage and are now treading towards the path of adulthood, or are already on it, then congratulations my friend, you are in for a journey, because the process of growing older is exactly that, a journey.
A journey that is so magnificent in all of its drudgery, pain and interspersed bits of joy, that it often leaves us deep in thought at its bizarreness. It is a journey that is toilsome, yes, but at the same time, it feeds our soul with a wisdom that only pain can teach.
The pain of growing older, that is.
And when I was a kid, I thought growing older was all physical, about growing taller and stronger and blossoming into an adult who would magically be armed with a flourishing career and everything in life sorted.
But when I became a teenager and experienced the first stages of this intriguing process myself, I came to realize that the childish notion I had built up was far from the reality of it all, and that growing older was nothing but a miserable process of awakening, gradually of course, to the harshness of this world.
This world in which you are nothing but a tiny speck amongst the billions of other inhabitants and the stars and galaxies.
You are something so tiny, and at the same time, you begin to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, something that changes you not only physically you realize, but also completely from within. That’s what growing older is. It is an awakening, that of the mind and soul. A spiritual awakening, even, when you finally understand what those proverbs written in books and quoted time and again by teachers and elders actually mean. You don’t just understand the meaning behind those seemingly simple words, no, you actually feel it, due to your own bittersweet experiences of life. The contrast between the innocence of colorful childhood and the dread of a dark reality is indeed an experience that acts as a rude wake-up call, but that is what ends up making us stronger. As kids, we would read stories about heroes and wish to grow up and be like them, and well, in a way we do end up becoming like them.
It's just that when we were kids, we weren’t told about the scars that were hidden beneath their glorious, brave exteriors. So, learning about those scars, and how despite them, you can still smile and stand strong, that is what growing older is. It doesn’t matter what age you are, what stage of life you’re in, whether you study or teach, or do nothing and just observe…each day, each one of us grows.
Some would consider the appearance of wrinkles on a face as growing older, some would see it as growing taller, some would see it as availing a job, or starting up a business, or graduating school. The way I see it though, is an amalgamation of it all, each step we take in a new direction, with a sliver of a new hope, is growing older. Picking yourself up after having a breakdown, piecing your heart together after it's been shattered, all of that contributes to the process of growing older. It is hence much beyond the physical phenomena of ageing, or the mere act of getting a degree, or moving out, or doing a job. It is a wholesome journey, one in which you’re not sure if you will make it to the destination, but you’re still going to try, despite it all.
Despite your aching heart, or weary steps, or the people around you who may actively try and put you down, clip your wings and be in your way. You will push past them, holding on to the wings you have constructed through the ups and downs of your life, and continue moving forward. The beauty of that journey, and that resolve is what growing older is. And it's not all pain and heartbreak, no, the person who grows each day finds happiness too, along the way. For some, it could be buying a sprawling house, or a fancy car, to others it could be the delight of a hot coffee on a cold winter night under the stars, or a deep conversation with a loved one. The scales of everyone’s good and bad days are different, and so the scale of each individual’s growth is different, nonetheless, it’s the act of growing that matters. It’s the fact that you’re still here, alive, witnessing the chaotic exquisiteness of life and existence.
