The Pride Cheat Sheet

Note: This is addressed to people who are still far from understanding gender/sexual diversities. It is a cheat sheet for the ones who want to change that and learn. I am not an expert; I'm only a curious, open-minded individual.

June is celebrated as pride month. If you don’t know what pride is, this is for you. If you know what pride is and don’t know anything beyond the LGBTQ, this is for you too. And if you don’t know that is now revised to LGBTQQIAA, this is definitely for you.

Over the past few years, I have had several conversations that go something like this –

“Gay, I get. What is bisexual now? That means can you switch on and off?” or
“Is transman a man who was a woman or it’s the other way round?” or
“Wait, transsexual and transgender are not the same thing?”

I get it. It is confusing, especially if you are cis-gendered (don’t worry I’ll explain in a bit). And it is even more challenging for people in South Asian cultures like India because we are brought up with an extremely narrow-minded outlook on this subject. I remember being in school and hearing “gay” thrown around like a bad word to call out someone who was a coward or overtly sensitive. But we have grown from that trope.. mostly. Mainly because homosexuality has become mainstream and our understanding has grown. Some of our friends came out too, which made it easier to see the world through the eyes of someone we love.

But we still are not there yet. There is barely any understanding about the fact that there is a wide range of sexual preferences and gender identities people go by.. beyond just homosexuality. A vast majority is not sure what each of those alphabets means and end up rejecting the possibilities altogether. And that’s not okay. It is one thing to not know, but another thing to dismiss just because it is an alien concept. None of this would make sense unless we say this out loud to ourselves. Repeat after me –

There are things I don’t understand, but that does not mean they don’t exist.

It is 2021. It is only right to be curious about sexual and gender diversity. Because believe me or not, the world is going ahead with these cultural shifts, with or without you. So, for my well-intentioned readers who are willing to learn, here is a cheat sheet that explains the terms and definitions of varied sexual orientations and gender identities.

BASICS

Sex is assigned at birth based on the person’s biological characteristics, and it is typically male, female, or intersex (person born with male and female biological traits).

Gender refers to characteristics of men and women that are socially constructed, rather than biological one. It is defined by roles, behaviour, and norms that may even change over time. This is where gender stereotyping comes from. Society might characterize a man to be physically stronger, but that is not universally true and is just a stereotype.

Gender Identity is a person’s individual sense of their gender and it may not be the same as the sex they are assigned at birth. For eg., You may be assigned the female sex, but you may identify as a man.

Gender Expression is how a person presents their gender to the world through clothing, behaviour, or other characteristics.

Sexual orientation is an enduring pattern of romantic or sexual attraction to persons of the opposite sex or gender (heterosexual), the same sex or gender (homosexual), or to both sexes (bisexual) or more than one gender (pansexual).

IDENTITIES

Cisgender is someone whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. For instance, Tanvi Joshi identifies herself as a woman and was assigned the same sex at birth.

Transgender is someone whose gender identity does not match with the sex they were assigned at birth. They might have been assigned ‘male’ at birth, but identify themselves as females, or vice versa. For eg., Caitlyn Jenner was assigned ‘male’ at birth but identifies herself as a woman.

They might or might not have the resources or desire to undergo organ surgery or hormonal therapies to match their identity. In such circumstances, that include medical intervention, they can be referred to as Transsexual.

Non-Binary is someone who does not identify themselves with a fixed gender. A subset of Non-Binary is identifying as gender-fluid, which means on some occasions they may identify as male, as female on another day, and neither male nor female on some occasions. Their gender fluidity need not necessarily change their gender expression. This individual is referred to as they/them.

LGBTQQIAA

Lesbian: A woman who is sexually or emotionally attracted to another woman

Gay: A man who is sexually or emotionally attracted to another man.

Bisexual: A person who is sexually or emotionally attracted to more than one gender

Transgender: A person whose gender identity does not match with the sex they were assigned at birth

Queer: An umbrella term referring to someone who is not cisgender and straight

Questioning: Someone who is not sure who they identify as. A person can be questioning both their sexual orientation and their gender identity.

Intersex: A person who naturally has biological traits that do not match with what is typically identified as male or female.

Asexual: Someone who does not feel a sexual desire towards another person. They may be attracted emotionally and romantically, but not desire sex.

Ally: A heterosexual, cisgender person who supports the LGBTQ+ community and encourages equal rights.

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There is a fat chance we will go all our lives without personally knowing many of these beautiful variations of humankind. But that is because our previous generations did not care enough to learn or embrace outside of their understanding. This kept a whole generation from questioning and living without knowing their true selves. Let’s not make the same mistakes. Let’s make way for explorations. Let the next generation have it better.

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