It’s Beginning To Look Alot Like “F*** This!”
I’ve got a Christmas story for you…
*cue sentimental holiday music*
So remember when I said that I would start new Christmas traditions? Christmas hasn’t always been enjoyable for me, and I really want to re-write my story on this. I want to be able to celebrate this holiday without that bittersweet feeling or those impending feelings of resentment. I want to laugh and cry tears of joy. I want those warm feelings of love and appreciation. I want to feel content with how the day rolls out. I wanted (and still want) Christmas to be a fond occasion for me.
*record scratch*
Welp! Looks like I’ll have to try again next year because guess WTF happened…
So I was at work on Wednesday. It was late night/early morning, typical night shift. At the end of my shift, I realized my keys were missing. My car keys were gone!
I prayed to God to please let them turn up, but no. That MF took them from me! He had to because there’s no logical explanation for how they wouldn’t turn up. The shift supervisor even followed up about them because he thought he knew where they might be, but when he asked, they told him they hadn’t seen any car keys. Therefore, I’m convinced God took them. Why? No clue, but He does shit like this from time to time — with no rhyme or reason.
I spent seven hours and only got one hour of sleep trying to figure out how to get replacement keys and ended up having to tow my car to the dealership. Because my car key is actually a key fob, guess how much I have to pay to replace it…
A whopping $415. For a key!
And what makes it so bad is that I planned to spoil myself this Christmas because I really don’t know what that feels like. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to others, especially on social media, but I’m tired of seeing posts year after year where everybody is getting everything they wanted — and then some — from their loved ones or that special someone. Meanwhile, I’m just forced to be grateful to see another day and deal with the trauma from my Christmas’s past.
It’s not fair!
So this year, I was dead-set on changing the narrative. Since nobody else gives a damn about me, I was going to spoil myself! I had a Christmas list and everything, and I was going to purchase everything on it, wrap them all up, address them to the love of my life (which is me!), and open them all on Christmas day.
I’m supposed to be at the mall drinking a mint coffee from Starbucks next to all of my shopping bags at this very moment. 🤬
But no. God has different plans for me, clearly.
And granted, $415 isn’t exactly a lot of money, but it is when you have plans for it. And I haven’t even calculated the additional expenses that come with this loss, but my holiday is ruined.
Though, I do feel different. I don’t believe any of my traumas are gonna resurface, but let’s just knock on wood because at the very least, I want to wake up on a happy note tomorrow. If I can’t have my gifts, I’m entitled to that much.
And you know what else? I just might skip social media for the rest of the year. I don’t want to see anything to remind me of my ruined plans, and those posts might trigger me anyway.
It kinda sucks because I planned to see my family and everything. We were gonna have an ugly sweater party on one side, and I hadn’t seen the other side in so long, so I wanted to catch up with them.
Oh well.
The dealership says my keys will be in by Tuesday, but I have trust issues. They could be lying.
I just hope I have my car back by New Year’s Eve.
“God, please let that holiday go right at least…” 🙏🏾
