2011 Turkey Awards

Alex B.
Ride The Pine
Published in
2 min readNov 24, 2011

Welcome to RideThePine.com

Its the Thanksgiving episode of Ride The Pine and we have a lot to be thankful for including the 2011 Turkey Awards…let’s get to it.

Let’s first give thanks to the older generations, and give our first Turkey Award to the “Coolest Old People, Who May Not Be Around Next Year, because they are old” — Grandma Shotgunning Beer at Michigan Football Game.

Material things can come and go, but I know that I’m most thankful for this holiday season is the health of friends and family. So our 2011 “Hope You Get Better” Turkey Award goes to the New York Giants.

The next category is celebration of four-letter words and the fact that ESPN still does not have a delay and they hire crazy old bastards who curse on live television. This category ended in a tie. You’re Turkey Award winners for “Best Use of a 4-Letter Word by Crazy Old Bastards on Live Television” are Bob Knight and Lee Corso.

Every Thanksgiving its important to give thanks to our brave men and women in the armed forces who are protecting our freedoms and those police, fire, and EMT’s who protect and service us on our own soil. The 2011 Turkey Award for “Coolest Police Officer” goes to the Philadelphia “Beer Bonging High-Five” Motorcycle patrol.

The next award is kind of silly, really aren’t they all dumb. Its during this holiday time that companies have parties and you can show off your dance moves. 2011 Turkey Award for “Best Dancer” goes to New England Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady.

Sometimes we instantly regret what we say. This next award is the “Be Careful What You Wish For Because Floyd Mayweather Will Knock Your Silly Ass Out” goes to Larry Merchant.

The final category is for “Best Angry Fan” and well Cleveland has to win something…[Factory of Sadness in Cleveland]

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

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Ride The Pine : 2011 Turkey Awards

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