Here Is Me Licking The Tears of Bobby Petrino

University of Arkansas head coach Bobby Petrino was placed on paid administrative leave after athletic director Jeff Long learned Petrino had failed to disclose he had been riding with a female employee half his age when his motorcycle skidded off the road over the weekend.

Look at that sad sour-puss face. How’s your neck little buddy? Got a boo-boo?

Petrino is at the top of the list for all-time villains in sports. Remember how he left the Atlanta Falcons? After just 13 games and with a note to his players [right].

I can only laugh knowing that moments before the crash Petrino was probably riding on that motorcycle with a feeling that he was on top of the world. Young pretty blond on the back, multi-millionaire, big-time college football coach…oh no, crash.

There are two people in this story that I don’t feel bad for. Bobby Petrino and his female rider Jessica Dorrell, who by most reports is/was engaged to get married in June (and is pretty hot). I just like how Petrino recently hired Dorrell to his football staff, like that wasn’t too obvious.

Petrino is a raging asshole and a giant douche.

Here is Petrino’s full statement about his “inappropriate relationship”:

The state police report today provides an accurate description of my accident, which includes details that had not publically come to light prior to the report being issued. I regret that I have not publically acknowledged a passenger on the vehicle. I have been in constant pain, medicated and the circumstances involving the wreck have come out in bits and pieces. That said I certainly had a concern about Jessica Dorrell’s name being revealed. In my press conference, I referred to her simply as ‘a lady’. My concern was to protect my family and a previous inappropriate relationship from becoming public. In hindsight, I showed a serious mistake in judgment when I chose not to be more specific about those details. Today, I’ve acknowledged this previous inappropriate relationship with my family and those within the athletic department administration.

I apologize to my wife, Becky, and our four children, Chancellor (David) Gearhart, Jeff Long, the Board of Trustees, University administration, my coaching staff, student-athletes and the entire state of Arkansas. I have been humbled by the outpouring of concern and get-well wishes. I apologize to the Razorback Nation for the attention my actions have brought to the University of Arkansas and our program. I will fully cooperate with the University throughout this process and my hope is to repair my relationships with my family, my Athletic Director, the Razorback Nation and remain the head coach of the Razorbacks.

Source: [Deadspin]